For some unknown reason, velociraptors are really popular this summer. Which is why now, more than ever, is a perfect time to spice up your relationship with a hint of excitement and sheer terror.
Don't be stuck in a relationship gone extinct; here are some reasons you should consider a carnivorous ancient reptile as your SO.
1. You always liked a girl with big beautiful eyes.
Well how about eyes that are yellow and beady and always staring at you?
2. You'll never have to worry about arguing with your new velociraptor bae.
Because you would know better than to start with her.
3. She's got a thing for Alpha males.
Unless there’s another bipedal killing machine nearby with bigger teeth than yours.
4. You wouldn't have to stress about cleaning your apartment.
You'll also learn not to put sentimental value in material things.
5. She can run at speeds of over 40 MPH.
But won’t embarrass you at that half-marathon next month.
6. Her frog-infused DNA allows her to switch back and forth from male to female.
Bound to keep your relationship interesting!
7. She's a better conversationalist than Compsognathus.
8. She’s clever.
9. She’s not shy about ordering a burger on a first date.
And she won't be stealing your fries, because you're most likely going to just give them to her.
10. Two words: colorful plumage.
11. The 6-inch retractable killing claw on the middle digit of each foot will be great for opening bottles of wine.
12. Raptors have learned to open doors for themselves.
Chivalry is dead!
13. Humans want things like mutual respect and a reliable companion.
Velociraptors want meat, plain and simple.
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