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You've heard him butcher "Lucy In the Sky With Diamonds." Now, let him lay waste to your prose as well.
For $2.99 William Shatner's Shatoetry iPhone app will render an audible, Shatner-narrated version of your poems in his inimitable dramatic style. You are somewhat limited in your choices, however. The app uses a refrigerator magnet-like system where you can choose among some pre-selected words. However, each word has three variations.