This festive season, post thirst traps with abandon

I don't need to say it. You already know it. This year has been really tough. And the holidays are going to be markedly different for many.

You may well be spending Christmas Day alone this year, you might be making peace with vastly altered plans, or having a pared-down celebration of sorts.

Chances are, you've foregone any chance of a drunken snog at Christmas drinks. There isn't so much as a sprig of mistletoe in sight. But one thing is true: you're really, really hot.

My holiday gift to you: I hereby grant you permission to post thirst traps with abandon this yuletide season. That old photo on your camera roll that, in hindsight, was actually pretty hot (you just didn't realise it at the time)? Post it. Those pics you took to mark the rare occasion of putting on makeup for the first time in months? Post them. That selfie you're worried might be a little too raunchy for the grid (it's not)? Post it.

If you're anything like me and try to punctuate the volume of sultry selfies posted to the Instagram grid in perpetuity, you'll perhaps understand the hesitation to hit post on some of the sexier pics you have in your drafts. All too often, the selfie is looked down upon with condescension, viewed as the narcissist's calling card, treated with scorn and disdain. But why? Heaven forfend we show evidence of loving ourselves. For that reason, dear reader, bid that hesitation adieu.

You deserve to celebrate yourself in all your resplendent beauty. You deserve to immortalise your incandescent hotness after an absolute rotter of a year.

I'd like to turn to the words from a film I love: Four Weddings and a Funeral. "A toast before we go into battle," says Gareth (Simon Callow). "True love. In whatever shape or form it may come. May we all in our dotage be proud to say, 'I was adored once too.'" Well, in our dotage, may we all be proud to say, 'I was hot once too.' Let that true love come in the form of self-love. Silence your harsh inner critic, she's had far too much to say for herself lately. As someone who struggles with my self-esteem, I will be taking my own advice on this matter.

I have a tendency to worry a lot what other people think of me. And that worry often extends to what I post on social media. I worry that if I post too many sexy photos, people will think I'm insecure, seeking validation, trying to catch the eye of a certain crush. As my therapist often tells me, we are relational beings. It's in our nature to crave connection.

But there's also another nugget of wisdom that I cleave to when I begin to care a little too much about how others perceive me: people aren't thinking about you as much as you think. I hate to break it to you (and many of us would love to believe we are mainstays in the thoughts of others), most people are pretty wrapped up in their own lives, their own insecurities, their own neuroses. So, don't worry so much.

Though we may be scattered from our loved ones this year, desperately missing human connection, we can live, for now, on the promise of one day being reunited. One day soon, you'll dance in a sweaty nightclub without a care in the world. You'll scream into a karaoke microphone in a booth full of dear friends. You'll clamber into bed with someone you find irresistible.

For the time being, post thirst traps to your heart's content. Remind yourself how utterly gorgeous you are.

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