The 'Alien: Earth' burger let me live out my Xenomorph-killing dreams
In the days leading up to the release of FX's Alien: Earth, the show has gone on a full publicity rampage.
FX has introduced tie-in products with everything from SoulCycle to Skullcandy headphones. On Aug. 9, they also launched "The Hunt," a series of pop-up stunts where fans could check out containment pods teeming with mysterious alien life and enter sweepstakes to win swag.
But the Alien: Earth product that most captured my attention was the Alien-themed burger and shake combo at Black Tap, available until Aug. 24. After all, how in the world do you capture the vibe of the Alien franchise in a burger or shake? Would a Chestburster explode from my body hours after I consumed these menu items? (And would you call that a... Chestburger?)
Given that I'm still alive while writing this, days after having both the burger and shake, the answer is thankfully no. But even without the 4D Chestburster experience, the Alien: Earth burger managed to be the craziest burger I've ever eaten, hands-down.
There's nothing too out there about the Alien: Earth burger's ingredient list. You've got a beef patty and some pepper jack cheese, topped with cilantro, charcoal aioli, and salsa verde. Crispy onion petals round out the toppings, curling out of the burger buns just like a Facehugger's spindly legs curl around its victim's face. The combination proved delicious, with the salsa verde providing a light zing to counteract a burger's usual heaviness.
The craziness really started as I chowed down on the burger. Eating a burger tends to be a humbling experience, because no matter how hard I try, sauce and juice wind up running down my hands. Napkins will only do so much. At some point, you just have to surrender to the sauce. Now, that's all well and good when the sauce is something familiar, like ketchup or Thousand Island dressing. But when you're working with a neon green salsa verde and a deep black aioli, the effect is downright alarming.
I peered down at my hands to see them spattered in bright green and black, like some unholy mix of the Xenomorph's acidic blood and the frightening black goo introduced in Prometheus. Truly, it appeared as if I had fought a Xenomorph, and that's as close to Alien as you can get in a burger. With that in mind, the experience wasn't just about the taste of the (yes, very yummy) burger. It was also about the spillage, which reduced me to laughter the worse it got. Apparently, all you need to live your Ripley (Sigourney Weaver) fantasy is a really messy burger.
Meanwhile, the milkshake, which was Mountain Dew-flavored, was less my speed. (Look, I love shakes, but don't do the Dew.) The chocolate cake slice that topped the shake was solid, though, and so dark that it evoked the pitch blackness of space, where no one can hear you scream.
The shake and cake pairing also gave me such a sugar rush that by the time the burger arrived, I felt invincible, like I could kill a Xenomorph by myself. And after eating the burger and getting my hands and lips smeared with black and green sauce, it certainly looked like I had.
Belen Edwards is an Entertainment Reporter at Mashable. She covers movies and TV with a focus on fantasy and science fiction, adaptations, animation, and more nerdy goodness. She is a member of the Critics Choice Association and the Television Critics Association, as well as a Tomatometer-approved critic.
