Apple's still trying to convince us Face ID is cool

There are some things in life that are just unambiguously cool, like, I don't know, motorcycles.

Apple's Face ID is not one of those things. And yet, as a new ad for the iPhone X unlock feature makes clear, the cutting-edge kids of Cupertino desperately want us to think otherwise.

It's not working.

The new 68 second advertisement takes place in and around what appears to be a high school, and shows a young woman surprised to find her iPhone X unlocking with merely a glance. What happens next, well, is an attempt at that classic Apple branding magic.

It appears her ability to open things with her face is not limited to the phone, as lockers, desks, cabinets, beakers, and eventually car trunks all bust wide prompted only by a look.

The spot ends with our unnamed heroine getting a text from "Kate" asking "Where R U???," and then strolling off into the late afternoon sunset.

The fact that her phone shows the time as 5:04 (presumably p.m., as it's light out) suggests she just got out of some after-school activity. Or maybe she was in detention, perhaps for her propensity for trashing the school.

Either way, the attempt to equate the utter blandness of Face ID with something exciting is ultimately unsuccessful (if understandable — it's an advertisement, after all).

But not all is lost. Maybe this ad, and the kinetic energy Apple attempted to harness with the goal of making Face ID seem cool, will inspire a generation of early adopter kiddos to break things and push boundaries. Which, last time we checked, actually is cool.