5 things we learned about the life of a bodega cat from A$AP Mob's trippy 'Animals' rap
Have you ever wondered what members of the A$AP Mob would look like as rapping bodega cats? Well, thanks to a new clip from HBO's Animals, now we know.
The short video opens with a raggedy-looking grey bodega cat chilling in the window of a standard New York City deli. Through some sort of kitty magic, our feline friend turns into A$AP Ferg — or, possibly, A$AP Fur-g — as a rugged hip-hop beat kicks in.
Dubbing himself the “jiggy cat burglar,” A$AP Rocky introduces himself next, while the rest of the A$AP clowder look on in support as they lounge beside crates of Lay’s chips and Heineken beers.
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Here are five vital nuggets of vital hip-hop/cat information we’ve gleaned from the video.
1. Rats are the enemy
Bodega cats are there for two reasons: to greet customers with kittenish vigor, and to keep various types of vermin away from the produce.
And Ferg takes that responsibility seriously. As he vents in verse, “Man, I hate rats, always eating up the bagels/ I say, 'Hi, hater!' shout outs to Maino.” Alas, the video cuts to a new scene before Ferg and his feline fangs can tear into his scuttling, bagel-biting foes.
2. The produce section is where everything happens
According to A$AP Ferg’s esteemed bodega kitty, the most comfortable place to hang out in your local bodega is right on top of (probably musty) produce.
“I’m mobbin’ with my cats, we relax on the throne,” Ferg spits, before explaining that for male cats like himself that means “on top of a bunch of potatoes." Meanwhile, female felines prefer to “lay on top of the tomatoes.”
3. Kanye West still shops at bodegas, apparently
In the clip's most bizarre scene, a figure purporting to be Kanye West struts into the bodega in some suitably spacey sneakers. He’s apparently there to buy some rice. But then a talking mouse pops up out of his shirt pocket and declares: “Hey, you, wake up Mr. West/ I know you fly, but dammit I’m fresh!”
Scathing social commentary on the proliferation of expired foods in the average bodega? All hail Kanye, our new consumer rights warrior.
4. Gold fronts can also serve as can openers
In real life, you’ll usually catch members of the A$AP Mob sporting gold and platinum fronts over their teeth. Naturally, this carriers over to their cat characters, with Ferg showcasing a set of gleaming feline fronts.
They come in handy when opening up cans of discounted tuna for a mid-afternoon snack.
5. The bread aisle is strictly for chilling and consuming catnip
A$AP Rocky enters for the song’s second verse, prowling into the store as a very dapper feline and rattling off a list of cat-centric references to spark his verse. Catnip, cat naps and, er, CAT scans all feature.
Then he embraces his spiritual inner kitty by announcing that you can most likely find him in the bodega’s bread aisle. “That’s where I lay my head -- that’s my bed now,” Rocky explains, before drifting off into a feline slumber. Let’s assume the catnip he was enthusiastically puffing on earlier helped with his dreams.
Animals airs on HBO on Fridays at 11:30 p.m.
UPDATE: July 22, 2021, 10:32 p.m. EDT This story has been updated to remove an embed from Vidme.
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