Gifts for the sneaky booze-drinkers among us
Who among us hasn't tried to sneak in a little whiskey at a concert or before a particularly offensive work meeting?
If you on plan on being inebriated on the plane or even boozing preventatively before a Tinder date, you should come prepared. Merely hiding a can of Heineken in a brown paper bag doesn't do the job. Live large. You've got to drink in your office bathroom stall in style.
These are the best gifts for the cosmopolitan drinker in your life.
1. A camouflage flask for the outdoor drinker
The outdoors is so much more than shitty granola and old fruit. There's a whole community of outdoor drinkers out there: people who love the stars and shots of tequila before bed. Outdoorsy folks deserve to be on brand while they drink by the fire.
This flask currently retails for $13.80 at Etsy.
2. A cozy for the gentle beer-lover
There is nothing worse than a disgusting $30 warm beer at an outdoor summer musical festival. Sneak a $2 one in with this cozy for $16 from Etsy.
3. A small fish flask
Fish are really underrepresented in the flask world. This is a much-needed step forward. Available for $25 from Kikkerland.
4. A paddle brush flask
Please do not read the regressive copy about this product. Just enjoy it for what it is: a flask disguised as an absolutely enormous brush.
It's available for $19.99 at Binocktails.
5. National Parks flask
Explore the great outdoors ... indoors, while drinking whiskey. Available for $22.50 from MADE.
6. Silk garter and flask
Someone out there is bound to find this sexy. That's not me, but maybe it's you. Available for $30 at Etsy.
7. Hidden flask shampoo and conditioner set
For people who want to be extra sneaky, there's this "smart organics" shampoo and conditioner set that doubles as a flask. I would never get a hidden shampoo flask made with artificial ingredients, ugh.
Available for $14.98 on eBay.
8. Portovino beach tote
The tote comes with a 1.5-liter bladder for all your Pinot Grigio needs. You'll be the star of the Nantucket sneaky booze drinker scene.
Available for $44.95 at Smuggleyourbooze.com.
9. Tampon flasks
No one will want to go near your tampon flask — perhaps not even you. $16 at Smuggleyourbooze.com.
10. SPF 50 hidden flask
For the desperately pale drinker in all of us, this flask retails for $10 at Smuggleyourbooze.com.
11. The beerbelly
Be beer-belly-positive with this attachable contraption, which allows you to sneakily drink all kinds of booze. It's just $29.99 at thebeerbelly.com.
12. The Wine Rack
The sales copy for this product makes me want to scream, but the rack does the job for the sports-bra-wearing among us. $29.99 at thebeerbelly.com.
No matter how you sneak it in, make sure you drink in style in the shadows.
Heather was the Web Trends reporter at Mashable NYC. Prior to joining Mashable, Heather wrote regularly for UPROXX and GOOD Magazine, was published in The Daily Dot and VICE, and had her work featured in Entertainment Weekly, Jezebel, Mic, and Gawker. She loves small terrible dogs and responsible driving. Follow her on Twitter @wear_a_helmet.
