Best gifts for hobbits, elves, and orcs still obsessed with Lord of the Rings
What will you give your loved ones, precious?
Everyone knows at least one Lord of the Rings fan, nay, fiend. They've smashed through J. R. R. Tolkien's books and appendices. They've sat through the extended editions of Peter Jackson's original trilogy, turned up for The Hobbit trilogy, and are sitting on the edge of their Shadowfaxes for the upcoming Amazon TV series.
So, you want to get them a gift they'll truly love. But what part of Middle Earth would they shop in? Ask them slyly first, then meet us back here for the perfect gift. And for brevity, these are just locations from the Lord of the Rings series.
Note: None of these are a golden ring. That is pure folly and will lead us all to ruin.
The Shire: A wizard-level pipe
Smoke the finest weed in the Southfarthing with a nice little pipe, so you can frolic through the woods, the fields, the little rivers of Hobbiton, Bree, and the rest with a little buzz. You can buy a non-functional replica of Gandalf's film pipe from the Weta Workshop in Wellington, New Zealand, but if you're after something you can actually smoke from, there are makers on Etsy selling pipes inspired by the series. Pair it with a Prancing Pony magnet and you'll have the Shire covered.
Price: $32 to $136
Rivendell: This adorable little Fellowship pin
Pledge allegiance to your loved one with a little pin emblazoned with Aragorn's pledge to Frodo and the Fellowship. "You have my sword," is scrolled across this piece from Etsy maker The Grumpy Unicorn Co. and it's bold enough a statement to prompt the nearest blonde elven dreamboat to declare the same with his bow, and, similarly, a gruff bearded fellow with his axe.
Price: $12.96
Moria: Balrog t-shirt
This t-shirt is as metal as Middle Earth gets outside of Mordor. Designed by Weta Workshop concept designer Rebekah Tisch, the tee depicts the formidable Balrog and your ol' pal Gandalf battling on the Bridge of Khazad-dûm.
Price: $29.99
Rohan: This kickass shieldmaiden pendant
All kickass shieldmaidens of Rohan need their own pendant, and Utah-based Etsy maker Badali Jewelry has crafted a fitting ode to the biggest boss of them all, Eowyn. Sporting two of Rohan's signature horses, this Shieldmaiden Medallion is inspired by the shield Eowyn carried into the Battle of the Pelennor Fields. On the back you'll find an engraving of her strong words to the Witch-King, "No living man am I, You look upon a woman." Yeah, badass.
Price: $55.59
Gondor: This not-so-ugly Christmas sweater
What better way to spend time with your messed up family in Minas Tirith than wearing a Christmas sweater emblazoned with Gondor's iconic White Tree? It's not even that obvious, so you could wear it to a dinner in Rohan without having to address where Gondor was when the Westfold fell and their enemies closed in around them. Awks.
If you want something more brazenly on-brand, try this Horn of Gondor for your bike.
Price: $48.75
Isengard: A rather lovely print
Let's forget all the terrible treachery, Enticide, and terrifying army-growing that occurred at Sauruman's joint in Sindarin, and enjoy this nice print. Can't do it? Get a Fangorn Forest one.
Price: $20.27
Lothlorien: Elven leaf brooch
Every member of the Fellowship needs one of these, and while you might not be able to hop over to the woods of Lothlorien to pick one up, the Weta Workshop makes their own. They're not cheap, as they're sterling silver, but they're legit.
Price: $274.49
Mordor: The Eye of Sauron desk lamp
So, your friend has chosen to live their life on the dark plains of Mordor? That's cool, there's plenty to do here, probably. But just know everything they do will be watched by the Eye of Sauron, which you can equip them with for their very own bedroom — in lamp form. Artist David Tremont and his team scaled down Weta designer Richard Taylor's nine-foot film model of Barad-dûr, the fortress of Sauron, and it makes one heck of a desk lamp.
Price: $299.99
Shannon Connellan is Mashable's UK Editor based in London, formerly Mashable's Australia Editor, but emotionally, she lives in the Creel House. A Tomatometer-approved critic, Shannon writes about entertainment, tech, social good, science, culture, and Australian horror.
