Here's what Breitbart's fashion section will look like
On Thursday, America suffered a a grievous attack on her liberty after Vogue Magazine published a cover featuring Jennifer Lawrence standing in front of -- hide your children, grab your wives -- the Statue of Liberty.
For whatever reason, the alt right took this as a big, nasty, personal attack.
The Statue of Liberty has undergone a lot of trauma in recent weeks. So thank god we had Breitbart's Finance and Economics Manager, John Carney, to report on the unprecedented attack and respond swiftly: by proposing a Breitbart fashion section.
God, if you're really out there, please give us this.
"We're going to have to create a full #MAGA shadow cultural industry because the Opposition Media can't even do fashion without attacking us," Carney said on Twitter. "Seriously, I think we could do really well with @BreitbartNews Fashion. Lots of women who would like their fashion without leftism."
Full disclosure: As an American woman/feminist cuck, I have long dreamed of the day I could look like Steve Bannon spreadeagled on a couch.
Though there appear to be no concrete plans to make Breitbart fashion a thing *as of yet,* here's what the company's fashion would very probably look like.
Get out your Mastercards, everyone.
Their "Grandfather every child is afraid of" menswear collection
Their "I like my own Instagram posts" fall line
Simple summer basics
A line made *for and by* retired male wizards
"Forever 55"
Breitbart's "The Future Will Never Be Female" Line for Women
Breitbart Haute Couture
Breitbart DIY
Land's End of Days
MRA Lingerie
WERK WERK WERK Breitbart on nothing ELSE ELSE ELSE until this is DONE DONE DONE.
Heather was the Web Trends reporter at Mashable NYC. Prior to joining Mashable, Heather wrote regularly for UPROXX and GOOD Magazine, was published in The Daily Dot and VICE, and had her work featured in Entertainment Weekly, Jezebel, Mic, and Gawker. She loves small terrible dogs and responsible driving. Follow her on Twitter @wear_a_helmet.
