President Obama, I will go to Mars if all of these celebrities are going

If the celebs go, I go.
 By 
Jessye McGarry
 on 
President Obama, I will go to Mars if all of these celebrities are going
Ted Goes To Mars Credit: MASHABLE COMPOSITE by dennie bright: NASA/JPL/UNIVERSITY OF ARIZONA, China Photos/Getty Images, JP Yim/Getty Images

Dear President Obama,

I read your op-ed that we'll go to Mars by 2030. (Congrats on the piece, by the way. CNN! Way cool.)

While I read through the article, I wondered: do I have what it takes to go to Mars? The trip, while interesting, comes at a sacrifice of your life on earth.


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Going to Mars would require that I unroot the life I've spent so much time and energy shaping. I'd leave behind my family, friends and home, likely for good. Heading to Mars is a veritable death sentence. Would it be worth risking everything I've got? At first, I thought: absolutely not. It seems horrible.

But then I started thinking about how friendships can form out of a shared nightmare. Wouldn't I become extremely close with whomever rode alongside me in the space shuttle? That's how I've realized, President Obama, that I would consider going to Mars as long as the following celebrities are going as well.

Christian Slater

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NEW YORK, NY - SEPTEMBER 12: Actor Christian Slater attends the 31th Annual Great Sports Legends Dinner to benefit The Buoniconti Fund to Cure Paralysis at The Waldorf Astoria Hotel on September 12, 2016 in New York City. (Photo by Ben Hider/Getty Images for The Buoniconti Fund) Credit: Ben Hider/Getty Images for The Buoniconti Fund

The trip seems insanely dangerous so I hate the idea of going. However, if Mr. Robot star Christian Slater is also going to be there I could be persuaded.

Tamera Mowry

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Actress Tamera Mowry attends the screening of "Ice Age: Collision Course" at Zanuck Theater at 20th Century Fox Lot on July 16, 2016 in Los Angeles, California. Credit: Getty Images

I experience intense anxiety when flying in planes. So much, in fact, that I'd rather drive 20 hours than fly for 30 minutes. However, if Tamera Mowry, star of Sister, Sister, were going to space too, then you can count me in.

Rico Rodriguez

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LOS ANGELES, CA - SEPTEMBER 18: Actor Rico Rodriguez attends the FOX Broadcasting Company, FX, National Geographic And Twentieth Century Fox Television's 68th Primetime Emmy Awards after Party at Vibiana on September 18, 2016 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Emma McIntyre/Getty Images) Credit: emma mcintyre/Getty Images

Departing with my loved ones on what is clearly a fatal trip would be the hardest thing I'd ever have to do. But, if I were to head to Mars with Modern Family star Rico Rodriguez, then it might be worth it.

Ted Danson

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BEVERLY HILLS, CA - AUGUST 02: Actor Ted Danson speaks onstage at 'The Good Place' panel discussion during the NBCUniversal portion of the 2016 Television Critics Association Summer Tour at The Beverly Hilton Hotel on August 2, 2016 in Beverly Hills, California. (Photo by Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images) Credit: frederick M. brown/Getty Images

I am easily overwhelmed when I don't have personal space. However, I think I might be more comfortable in the constant company of others if one of the people I got to be around was Cheers star Ted Danson.

Christie Brinkley

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NEW YORK, NY - SEPTEMBER 06: Model Christie Brinkley attends Target + IMG's NYFW kickoff at The Park at Moynihan Station on September 6, 2017 in New York City. (Photo by Mike Coppola/Getty Images) Credit: Mike Coppola/Getty Images

I have taken many precautions to make sure I don't die. I've never smoked or drank. I wear SPF every day. I exercise and am on a vegan diet. So, I really have no interest in launching myself into space toward my death. However, I suddenly have a lot of interest if Christie Brinkley, star of the Total Gym commercials, will be there too.

Matthew Broderick

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NEW YORK, NY - OCTOBER 01: Matthew Broderick attends the "Manchester by the Sea" world premiere during the 54th New York Film Festival at Alice Tully Hall at Lincoln Center on October 1, 2016 in New York City. (Photo by Nicholas Hunt/Getty Images) Credit: Nicholas Hunt/Getty Images

"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you might just miss it." Ferris Bueller said that, and it's one of my favorite quotes. I'd really be speeding my life up by going to Mars. But if I got to split a tub of astronaut ice cream with Ferris Bueller star Matthew Broderick, then shoot me right on up to the stars.

Julia Louis-Dreyfus

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LOS ANGELES, CA - SEPTEMBER 18: Actress Julia Louis-Dreyfus attends the 68th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards at Microsoft Theater September 18, 2016 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty Images) Credit: Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty Images

I suffer from intense asthma and am often sent into fits in which breathing on my own becomes borderline impossible. Heading to Mars would be an awful idea for someone like me, but, if I were going to share a bunkbed with Seinfeld star Julia Louis-Dreyfus, then it might be worth all the pain.

Ariana Grande

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LAS VEGAS, NV - SEPTEMBER 24: Recording artist Ariana Grande performs onstage at the 2016 iHeartRadio Music Festival at T-Mobile Arena on September 24, 2016 in Las Vegas, Nevada. (Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images) Credit: kevin winter/Getty Images

I am an extremely routine person and I have very little desire to try new things. However, if Sam and Cat star Ariana Grande were going, I suddenly find myself in possession of the curiosity necessary to go to Mars.

Brad Garrett

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LAS VEGAS, NV - MAY 21: Actor/comedian Brad Garrett attends Keep Memory Alive's 20th Annual Power Of Love Gala at the MGM Grand Garden Arena on May 21, 2016 in Las Vegas City. (Photo by David Becker/Getty Images for Keep Memory Alive) Credit: david becker/Getty Images

Going to Mars seems like one of the most desolate, isolating experiences one could opt into. I am very against it. However, I am 100 percent on board if Everybody Loves Raymond star Brad Garrett is our pilot.

David Bowie

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NEW YORK - MAY 5: (U.S. TABS AND HOLLYWOOD REPORTER OUT) Singer David Bowie stands backstage at The Film Society of Lincoln Center's Tribute to Susan Sarandon at Avery Fisher Hall May 5, 2003 in New York City. (Photo by Evan Agostini/Getty Images) Credit: Evan Agostini/Getty Images

I do not want to go to Mars. And yet, if you were to say the man who questioned whether or not there was life on Mars, Labyrinth star David Bowie, were going, then my mind completely changes. To Mars, we fly.

Topics Celebrities

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Jessye McGarry

Jessye McGarry is an acquaintance, middle child and former Humor Intern at Mashable.

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