Don't Insta my newborn: 5 rules for posting about a friend's baby

You've waited nine long months to announce someone very special, a baby you love dearly. You've put a lot of work into this moment, poured in blood, sweat and cocoa butter. 

Then someone in your family steals your thunder. They post on Facebook that you've gone into labor. 

Besides scooping your news, some new parents have additional reasons for keeping births private — at least in the beginning.

"What if, god forbid, something goes wrong or something? I would want to be the one letting the world know," mother of two Colleen B. told Mashable. "And it's also really nice right after the baby is born to know that it's just you and your baby. No one in the world even knows he exists yet."

To post or not to post? That is the question. 

1. DO NOT post anything on social if the parents have not posted anything first (or without their permission). 

Portrait of infant resting on mother after childbirth Credit: Getty Images/iStockphoto

Even if they're your best friends and you know for a fact they're on their way to the hospital, it's their news. Just wait. Consider they may not want people know they are in labor; it's common for parents to want to "make sure everything goes smoothly" before making any official announcements. Unless they give you the OK, regardless of how close you are, it is their place, not yours, to announce to the world they are about to have a baby. 

2. If you are the parents, plan ahead of time what to post.

With all the planning and worrying that goes into giving birth, it may seem trivial to talk social media. But imagine a mother who finds out her partner has been live-tweeting her labor — after the fact. Talk about your social media plan (or lack thereof), agree who will be announcing what, in what way, on which platform. You can get creative, keep it simple or not do anything at all. You are the parent, it's up to you. 

Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable

Another thing: Consider posting beforehand asking friends and family refrain from sharing anything about baby until you do. It may help to make your wishes explicitly clear. Feel free to use our shareable example above.

3. Like, comment, but DO NOT share the photos the family posts.

Let's say the family has posted a photo of their new bundle of joy on Facebook, officially making the announcement themselves that baby is here. Think about the implications of re-sharing that photo on your own page. The parents aren't friends with all of your friends, so you're showing off their child to strangers. If in doubt, ask the parents.

4. 

When in doubt, text your message of "congrats" instead.

If other people besides the parents are posting about the birth of the baby but either parent has yet to post anything, text or call to wish them well. Not only is this more personal and considerate, in case they're not happy with the news getting out before they announced it, at least you'll be one of the good ones. Side note: Give the family some buffer space, too. Don't bombard them with calls 15 minutes after baby is born. 

5. If you come to visit the family, ask before posting.

Credit: Getty Images/iStockphoto

We can't blame you for wanting to take, like, a million pictures, but always ask what the parents want before posting, even if it's Snapchat. Some parents may not want to have their kid posted on any other platform other than their own. Even you, Grandma. 

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