Top challenges for online daters, according to Coffee Meets Bagel

The dating app Coffee Meets Bagel found a few contradictions in its first Dating Realness Report — which seems to sum up dating in 2025.

Over nine in 10 daters are looking for something serious, according to a survey of over 1,000 21-35 year-olds in the U.S. (who are working professionals either actively looking for a relationship or aren't actively searching but are open to one).

Specifically, 61 percent are seeking a spouse, and 31 percent are looking for a long-term partner. But 93 percent think dating is challenging, and nearly half (45 percent) think a relationship is harder to commit to than a job.

Some of the biggest pain points when dating are endless swiping without meaningful matches (54 percent), getting ghosted or unmatched (47 percent), and figuring out what to say or how to start a conversation (43 percent).

Now, take AI. Eighty percent of survey respondents are comfortable with AI assisting with dating tasks. However, if they found out they used AI to write their profile or message, around 65 percent would be less likely to engage with them, have a negative impression of them, or wouldn't be sure what to think.

Coffee Meets Bagel also found that while Gen Z was more comfortable with AI than millennials, they're also less likely to engage with a profile that used AI compared to their older counterparts.

This is similar to what Hinge found in its latest report as well: while Gen Z wants deeper connections, some are using AI to date.

And CMB's survey found that emotional connection and chemistry are a must-have for a majority of daters (73 percent), even higher than physical attraction (63 percent).

Shared values and beliefs (59 percent) rounded out the top three must-have qualities, followed by ambition/drive (57 percent) and shared interests (53 percent).

Interestingly, when broken down, more millennials (76 percent) chose emotional connection as a must-have than Gen Z (68 percent). Yet, more Gen Z chose ambition/drive than millennials (61 percent versus 52 percent).

And in this time of economic uncertainty, the highest life priority ranked was financial stability (54 percent), followed by health and wellness (49 percent), then love and relationships, which tied with family (47 percent each).

Coffee Meets Bagel also asked about the top challenges after matching. Gen Z and millennials differed only slightly in their answers: mixed signals (42 percent Gen Z, 44 percent millennial), starting or keeping conversations going (40 percent Gen Z, 38 percent millennial), and getting ghosted (38 percent Gen Z, 40 percent millennial).