Hundreds of pooping vultures occupy CBP radio tower in Texas

It is one of fate's grand ironies that those who literally feed off the weak and dying should stand together against those oppressing society's most vulnerable. And yet, hundreds of literal vultures are presently occupying a Customs and Border Protection tower in southern Texas at this very moment.

So reports Quartz, which got its hands on a particularly beautiful CBP request for information. It seems that 300 vultures — yes, three hundred — have decided to call a Kingsville, Texas, radio tower their home. CBP, which operates the tower, is looking for "netting solutions" that could prevent even more vultures from nesting there.

The vultures, you see, are shitting and vomiting all over the CBP employees and equipment below.

"Droppings mixed with urine are on all of these surfaces and throughout the interior of the tower where workers are in contact with it, as well as on areas below," reads the RFI.

And according to a CBP spokesperson who spoke with Quartz, that's not all.

"There are anecdotes about birds dropping prey from a height of 300 feet, creating a terrifying and dangerous situation for those concerned."

Just look at them. Credit: screenshot / cbp

Doing their thing. Credit: screenshot / cbp

Customs and Border Protection, which is an agency of the Department of Homeland Security, has recently made news for reasons decidedly shittier than bird droppings. Specifically, the agency separated children from their families at the U.S. border and then, to make matters worse, lost track of many of them. Oh, and then there's the racist Facebook group and the fact that conditions in CBP detention camps have been described as inhumane.

CBP, meanwhile, is focused on its net.

"The contractor shall install netting specifically designed for large bird (vulture) abatement and deterrent to the cable perimeter frame and supports," reads the RFI. "The net will be secured so as not to provide any gaps for any type of bird to get behind it."

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Here's hoping the literal vultures can stick it out.