How to make yourself care about the World Series
The World Series is about to begin.
If your reaction was, "What, really?" then we've got the guide for you. Grab a hot dog and a $15 Bud Light and get ready for a crash course that'll make you at least somewhat interested in the World Series -- even if you haven't watched a baseball game all year.
Get to know the fans
The Dodgers haven't won the World Series since 1988. For the last four years, the team has led Major League Baseball in attendance, so you know fans are going to be pumped -- including co-owner Earvin "Magic" Johnson.
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The Houston Astros have never won the World Series. Only four years ago, they were the worst team in baseball. Now, as the city deals with the aftermath of Hurricane Harvey, the team's fans are looking for a reason to celebrate.
The guy who looks like Tormund from Game of Thrones is amazing
His name is Justin Turner and he kicks ass. His on-base percentage (OBP) is off the charts -- basically, you can alway count on him to get a hit.
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Like Tormund Giantsbane, he's a lively, likable dude, and he's always hitting beyond The Wall. If you're a Dodgers fan, you love this guy.
No, that's not Michael Jordan
MJ was famous for sticking his tongue out while playing. Now, so is Yasiel Puig. The exuberant Dodgers outfielder is hitting .414 (trust us, that's good) in the playoffs and he's sure to provide some wacky antics.
José Altuve may be short, but he will destroy you
No, this isn't some Lord of the Rings forced perspective. Astros second baseman José Altuve is only 5 feet 6 inches tall, so when he stands next to people like Aaron Judge of the Yankees, who's 6 feet 7 inches tall, yeah, he looks tiny.
But the guy is a force to be reckoned with. He's been knocking it out of the park like crazy (he hit three home runs in the Astros' playoff opener against the Red Sox) and he's a legit contender for the American League MVP award.
The inspiring story of 'El Oso Blanco'
When Evan Gattis graduated high school, he was battling depression. He rejected several college offers, instead choosing to drink and get high with his friends.
He took a few odd jobs over the years, working as a janitor and housekeeper. He went to rehab. Eventually, he started playing baseball again, including a stint in the Venezuelan Winter League, where the 6-foot-4-inch, 254-pound catcher earned the nickname "El Oso Blanco" ("The White Bear").
The 31-year-old hit a pivotal Game 7 home run against the Yankees on Sunday. Astros fans hope he can recreate that magic against the Dodgers.
Kate Upton's fiancé vs. Clayton Kershaw is the pitching storyline of the series
Houston Astros pitcher Justin Verlander (pictured above with Kate Upton, who isn't afraid to defend him on Twitter) is the last player to win the Cy Young Award and American League MVP in the same year. LA Dodgers pitcher Clayton Kershaw is the last player to win the Cy Young Award and National League MVP in the same year.
Neither has won a World Series. That'll change come Nov. 1.
Into it yet? Here's where to watch.
OK, you're ready to watch some baseball. Here's the schedule, with each game starting on FOX a little after 8 p.m. ET.
Game 1, Tuesday, Oct. 24 in Los Angeles
Game 2, Wednesday, Oct. 25 in Los Angeles
Game 3, Friday, Oct. 27 in Houston
Game 4, Saturday Oct. 28 in Houston
Game 5, Sunday, Oct. 29 in Houston*
Game 6, Tuesday, Oct. 31 in Los Angeles*
Game 7, Wednesday, Nov. 1 in Los Angeles*
(The first to win four out of seven games wins the World Series. So the asterisked games might not even happen if one team sweeps the first four games.)
Enjoy! Or, at least watch a couple of games before Stranger Things Season 2 premieres.
Keith Wagstaff is an assistant editor at Mashable and a terrible Settlers of Catan player. He has written for TIME, The Wall Street Journal Magazine, NBC News, The Village Voice, VICE, GQ and New York Magazine, among many other reputable and not-so-reputable publications. After nearly a decade in New York City, he now lives in his native Los Angeles.
