Donald Trump and Joe Biden are spoiling for an actual fist fight. Heaven help us.

Nothing says 2018 like two old white men threatening to beat each other up
 By 
Marcus Gilmer
 on 
Donald Trump and Joe Biden are spoiling for an actual fist fight. Heaven help us.
A preview of 2020 or the worst political duel in history? Credit: Mashable Composite/Getty Images

Proving we really are living in the dumbest timeline possible, former vice president Joe Biden and current president Donald Trump have revived their watered-down Burr-Hamilton rivalry with more empty threats of elderly-white-man-on-elderly-white-man violence.

On Tuesday, Biden, who was speaking at an "It's On Us" rally to fight sex assault on campus, laid into Trump's misogynistic behavior by threatening to beat up Trump. According to ABC News, Biden said:

"A guy who ended up becoming our national leader said, 'I can grab a woman anywhere and she likes it,'" Biden said. "They asked me if I’d like to debate this gentleman, and I said 'no.' I said, 'If we were in high school, I’d take him behind the gym and beat the hell out of him.'"

"I've been in a lot of locker rooms my whole life," Biden continued. "I'm a pretty damn good athlete. Any guy that talked that way was usually the fattest, ugliest S.O.B. in the room."

Well, Trump didn't take too kindly to such a challenge to his honor and fired back -- where else? -- on Twitter on Thursday morning. He chastised Biden for threatening him and, in turn, threatened Biden with his own brand of Trumpian violence that's worse than any lukewarm, overcooked steak.

Just to be clear, this is not a repeat of the 2016 campaign incident, either, when Biden, responding to Trump's infamous Access Hollywood tape, said something very similar: "Press always ask me, ‘Don’t I wish I were debating him?’ No, I wish we were in high school and I could take him behind the gym.”

You'd think (hope?) that this particular feud will never escalate past a war of words, but given Trump's flair for the dramatic and Biden's tendency to do whatever the hell he wants -- and honestly DGAF Biden is the best Biden -- maybe this will actually come to blows...

Wrestlemania is only a few weeks away, after all.

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Marcus Gilmer

Marcus Gilmer is Mashable's Assistant Real-Times News Editor on the West Coast, reporting on breaking news from his location in San Francisco. An Alabama native, Marcus earned his BA from Birmingham-Southern College and his MFA in Communications from the University of New Orleans. Marcus has previously worked for Chicagoist, The A.V. Club, the Chicago Sun-Times and the San Francisco Chronicle.

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