Donald Trump really wants a military parade so here's what it might look like

Rockets, flags, and lots of waving!
 By 
Marcus Gilmer
 on 
Donald Trump really wants a military parade so here's what it might look like
The man really loves himself a parade Credit: Getty Images

In the wake of the Washington Post's report that Glorious Leader Donald Trump wants himself a parade to showcase America's grand military strength, we're wondering what the event may look like.

We know that Trump's love of a parade is part of what inspired his summer 2017 trip to France -- where he got to hear a military band rendition of Daft Punk songs -- and, thanks to yesterday's Post scoop, we know Trump gave "marching orders" for a similar type of parade in Washington, D.C.

While there are traditionally military elements in parades across the United States for some patriotic holidays like Independence Day and Veteran's Day, it's rare for the country to put on a fully fledged military show of strength (CBS reports the last one was nearly 30 years ago after victory in the first Gulf War).

So, assuming Trump pulls this off, given the complicated logistics and heavy costs of putting on such a parade, what would it look like? Well, you can watch nearly 90 minutes of that 1991 celebration. But we also decided to dig through some archives for photos of the sort of thing we can expect should Trump's Grand Military Parade become reality.

First of all, flags! Military parades are full of flags that reflect on a nation's boisterous history.

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Reminiscing of times gone by Credit: Getty Images

We know Trump is something of a size-obsessed individual and a military parade gives him the chance to whip out his ballistics for the world to see.

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Whose is bigger now? Credit: Dmitry Korotayev/Epsilon/Getty Images

But it's not just about missiles, man. Nah, you get to roll out the TANKS! MIGHTY!

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Everyone should drive a tank to work every day. That's how mighty they are. Credit: Getty Images

A parade means standing over the proceedings and waving a lot to everybody. Who doesn't like to wave as they're pelted with adoration?

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Gracing the loyal subjects with a wave Credit: AP/REX/Shutterstock

You get to hang out with your friends, too, inviting them to the reviewing stand and let them bask in the glow of your military strength.

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"Oh, yeah, I saw your parade. No, no, it was good! I mean, this? This is just a little shindig." Credit: Getty Images

And don't underestimate Trump's love of the worship factor. Military parades are filled with building-sized portraits of glorious leaders!

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Praise be to the leader! Credit: Getty Images

And sometimes they'll build a statue and then hold flags and it's all just so GLORIOUS.

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Everyone loves a statue of themselves Credit: AP/REX/Shutterstock

And it's not just the soldiers; regular people will celebrate your military accomplishments.

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They will cheer your name and all you have done for military glory Credit: Wong Maye-E/AP/REX/Shutterstock

And, remember: Trump is a businessman first. When there's a big parade, there's always a chance to bring in merchandise and mementos.

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Think of all the great merch you can hawk at a parade! Credit: Getty Images
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Marcus Gilmer

Marcus Gilmer is Mashable's Assistant Real-Times News Editor on the West Coast, reporting on breaking news from his location in San Francisco. An Alabama native, Marcus earned his BA from Birmingham-Southern College and his MFA in Communications from the University of New Orleans. Marcus has previously worked for Chicagoist, The A.V. Club, the Chicago Sun-Times and the San Francisco Chronicle.

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