Trump hires a man with the most magnificent mustache to defend him against Russia accusations
I dare say, I won’t stand for all of you besmirching my client, Mr. Trump.
To get to him, you’ll have to get through me and my magnificent mustache. My name is Ty Cobb and winning runs in my veins. I'm a high-powered lawyer who represented people in the Clinton administration, and I'm a distant relative of The Georgia Peach himself, Ty Cobb, the baseball player.
It's unconscionable that you would accuse my client, Donald J. Trump, and his associates of inappropriate contact with the Russians just because of evidence. Why, I'd challenge you to a duel, but I'm enjoying a tasty mint julep on a riverboat.
Good day to you!
(The imaginary statement above was inspired by Twitter.)
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Topics Donald Trump Politics
Keith Wagstaff is an assistant editor at Mashable and a terrible Settlers of Catan player. He has written for TIME, The Wall Street Journal Magazine, NBC News, The Village Voice, VICE, GQ and New York Magazine, among many other reputable and not-so-reputable publications. After nearly a decade in New York City, he now lives in his native Los Angeles.
