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Bizarre DIY video makes an egg that's 'bigger than before' and the internet asks — why?

We didn't ask for this.

Sage Anderson

on July 26, 2019

The egg is bigger than before. Which egg? Why do you want it to become bigger? It just is. Accept it. The egg will continue to grow. You cannot stop it.

That kind of ominous and vaguely threatening aura is the same energy that arises from a now viral DIY "craft" video (and we use the term "craft" here very loosely) that was recently unearthed from the bowels of your mom's Facebook feed. In between cooking tutorials for cheesy jalapeño poppers, you may find a "lifehack" video or two, designed to make everyday tasks easier. Or you could find this.

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If you've ever thought to yourself, my eggs are too small, not translucent enough, and not covered with enough maple syrup, this is the tutorial for you!

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Originating from the social video outlet 5-Minute Crafts, the channel, which has a YouTube, Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter account, is known for its nonsensical and potentially trolly hack videos. Thankfully, though, Twitter user @chipspopandabar resurfaced this truly cursed footage, and we're not sure they fully understand what they've unleashed.

Let's break it down:

It's simple! You take your humble egg, and you place it in a glass, then fill it with white vinegar. Why? Who knows! But you'll have to wait 24 hours to find out. Wait, isn't this supposed to be 5-Minute Crafts? Yes, you would be correct! Moving on.

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When the egg emerges it will be smooth and translucent, like a rubber baby dino egg sold at museum gift shops. Shine a light on it, like you're interrogating it for clues to this great mystery called life. Why do you care? Well, it's bigger than before! Is this what you wanted? Is it?

No, we must go further. It's not big enough. Bill Nye is silently weeping in the distance. You put the egg in a new glass. You pour sweet and expensive maple syrup all over your sick creation. Yes, this is good. Egg will grow. But you must wait, again, another 24 hours.

Haven't you had enough of playing god? Clearly not, because now is the time for your Frankenstein egg to join the Blue Man Group. Remove your egg from its syrupy prison, submerge it in water, and add blue food die. Congrats, you've finally reached the end. The egg is bigger than before. What have you done?

Like most other 5-Minute Craft videos, you feel yourself becoming more unhinged the longer you watch what's unfolding onscreen. Their algorithm-baiting titles, like "28 SMART HACKS FOR EVERYDAY LIFE || Everyday Tricks And Clever DIY Ideas," and repetitive compilations means that most of their brand blurs the line between "I watched some actually useful hacks!" and "This video was monetized because I sat through the whole thing in horror." It's hard not to feel like they will throw anything on the screen for dollar signs, as their YouTube channel currently sits at almost 59 million subscribers.

The more you try to justify their actions, the less it makes sense. If you try at any point to guess the direction they're taking the craft, you'll be hit with whiplash when it takes a turn for the unreal. What are we "hacking" here? Mother Nature? What's being accomplished? If it has a billion steps, and takes multiple days, where do we draw the line?

But we're not here to debate if these crafts actually work, or why they even exist. Because the internet's main response hasn't been to dissect the egg, but merely to embrace it.

Say it again, kids: The egg is bigger than before. It's just bigger than before. 5-Minute Crafts may have unintentionally created a near-perfect replica of the "they did surgery on a grape" meme, only this time you'll find yourself thinking "they fucked up a perfectly good egg."

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Confused? That's fine. Just remember: The egg is bigger than before.

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Sage Anderson

Sage is the newest Culture writer on the block at Mashable NYC. They recently graduated from Sarah Lawrence College, and have previously worked for The Dr. Oz Show, NorthSouth Productions, and on Netflix's 'The OA Part II'. Off the clock, they can be found testing out cupcake recipes, collecting dolls, and watching Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure for the millionth time.