Elon Musk totally didn't invent Bitcoin, you guys
Elon Musk wants to make one thing very clear: He did not invent Bitcoin, the monetary bubble cryptocurrency that recently shot up to a $10,000 valuation.
The eccentric, sensitive billionaire denied claims he is secretly Bitcoin's mysterious creator Satoshi Nakamoto, who has stayed out of the public eye since publishing the paper that outlined the peer-to-peer currency in 2008.
The theory came in the form of a Medium post by former SpaceX intern Sahil Gupta. Gupta pointed to several factors that pin the invention to Musk, like his background in economics and cryptography as well as his likelihood to adopt a sophomoric alias that serves as an anagram for the phrase “So a man took a shit.” (You might remember the time Musk publicly expressed disappointment when the names of Tesla's first three vehicles were blocked from spelling out SEX.)
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Musk also denied having any Bitcoin to his name, claiming he actually lost what little of the digital currency he ever held years ago.
Later in the thread, however, Musk dropped an even bigger admission to his fans: He is actually a Martian. He didn't explain exactly how he made his way to Earth -- whether he was sent Kal-El-style from a collapsing society or if it was just an accidental drop-off like E.T. is still unclear -- but either way, the truth, as they say, is now out there.
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So let's recap everything you can thank Elon Musk for: PayPal's online transactions, SpaceX's rockets, Tesla's all-electric cars, the hyperloop race, the Boring Company and its terrible puns (and hats), Solar City's green infrastructure, Neuralink's weird AI-human mashup plans, doomsday AI predictions, and a sometimes-deranged Twitter feed.
What you can't: Bitcoin.
More importantly, we now know that his plans for SpaceX aren't to colonize Mars — it's to get back to his native land. Elon Musk isn't the creator of Bitcoin, guys. He's just E.T., trying to phone home.
Brett Williams is a Tech Reporter at Mashable. He writes about tech news, trends and other tangentially related topics with a particular interest in wearables and exercise tech. Prior to Mashable, he wrote for Inked Magazine and Thrillist. Brett's work has also appeared on Fusion and AskMen, to name a few. You can follow Brett on Twitter @bdwilliams910.
