Everyone, stop freaking out about this Facebook hoax

Apparently Facebook hoaxes are still alive and well in the year 2016.

An old one is making the rounds this week, and everyone really needs to stop freaking out. The hoax tells Facebook users to repost a paragraphs-long status to to ensure their privacy.

The two statuses, per CBS News:

As of September 28th , 2015 at 10:50p.m. Eastern standard time, I do not give Facebook or any entities associated with Facebook permission to use my pictures, information, or posts, both past and future. By this statement, I give notice to Facebook it is strictly forbidden to disclose, copy, distribute, or take any other action against me based on this profile and/or its contents. The content of this profile is private and confidential information. The violation of privacy can be punished by law (UCC 1-308- 1 1 308-103 and the Rome Statute).

NOTE: Facebook is now a public entity. All members must post a note like this. If you prefer, you can copy and paste this version. If you do not publish a statement at least once it will be tactically allowing the use of your photos, as well as the information contained in the profile status updates.

And:

Now it's official! It has been published in the media. Facebook has just released the entry price: £5.99 ($9.10) to keep the subscription of your status to be set to "private." If you paste this message on your page, it will be offered free (I said paste not share) if not tomorrow, all your posts can become public. Even the messages that have been deleted or the photos not allowed. After all, it does not cost anything for a simple copy and paste.

In case you still had questions, no, reposting either of these statuses will not protect you from any Facebook encroachment on your privacy.

According to Snopes, the hoaxes go back to at least 2012. The claim behind the statuses isn't true, Snopes said, since Facebook does not claim copyright to personal information and has not indicated any plans to make private accounts public.

In any case, posting a status would not counteract the legal agreement every Facebook user must check before signing up for an account.

This time around, people are noticing the statuses and posting to warn others of the hoaxes more quickly than in years past. (Not that that's particularly useful either.)

Maybe endorse a candidate for president instead.