Facebook is making more money than ever because nothing matters
Sorry, haters! Despite privacy scandal after privacy scandal, Facebook posted record profits last quarter.
As one Facebook employee recently put it, "Fuck ethics. Money is everything." Revenue in Q4 hit $16.9 billion, up 30 percent from a year ago. Facebook also posted record profits of $6.9 billion. That's up more than 60 percent from the previous year.
Facebook also gained users. Imagine Mark Zuckerberg climbing up this chart, standing atop the Q4 2018 column triumphantly, with what his friends assure him is a very human-like smile on his face.
Facebook saw strong growth in Asia, especially in India and the Philippines, where strongman President Rodrigo Duterte basically weaponized Facebook to propel himself to victory.
And you thought #DeleteFacebook would take down the social media behemoth ... that's very cute. Zuck is making hella cash. We're sure he'll fundamentally change his business model any day now.
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Keith Wagstaff is an assistant editor at Mashable and a terrible Settlers of Catan player. He has written for TIME, The Wall Street Journal Magazine, NBC News, The Village Voice, VICE, GQ and New York Magazine, among many other reputable and not-so-reputable publications. After nearly a decade in New York City, he now lives in his native Los Angeles.