The 17 most bizarre moments from 'The Crimes of Grindelwald'
This post contains many, many spoilers for Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald.
Now that some people have seen Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald it's time to discuss some of the movie's more shocking, upsetting, and truly bizarre moments.
Because, wow. Even for Harry Potter, this movie got weird. Spoilers abound, so scroll down at one's own risk.
1. So the opening shot refers to MACUSA as the “American Ministry of Magic."
As if they hadn't spent a whole movie making people say MACUSA to explain why it is different from the British Ministry of Magic.
2. When Grindelwald threw Antonio the Chupacabra (??!) out of the carriage for being “needy.”
He is a baby! You were supposed to take care of him!
3. RIP Muggle baby in that one house in Paris.
You didn’t do anything wrong.
4. When we find out Queenie pretty much roofied Jacob for god knows how long to convince him to marry her.
Consent is sexy, Queenie.
5. Why did the ringmaster of the magical circus introduce Nagini as an “Underbeing?”
That sounds really... wizard racist? Plus when he was like “isn’t she pretty? Don’t you all want to bang this snake?” Awkward.
6. When Grindelwald uses a skull vape to show his visions of the present and future.
A skull vape. He vapes. For magic.
7. When the movie introduced the reality of half-elves and half-goblins and didn’t interrogate that at all.
Can house elves legally consent to reproduce with wizards?
8. Seeing a younger McGonagall at Hogwarts and trying to do the math on her age.
She's not even supposed to be alive at this point in the story, but OK!
9. When Yung Dumbledore and Grindelwald did that sexy blood pact thing in the Mirror of Erised.
It's not clear if that was, like, wizard marriage, or what.
10. Also, why are we even seeing this?
The Mirror of Erised is supposed to show your heart’s desire. Does Dumbledore desire to make another blood pact? Was that just the happiest moment of his life? Exchanging some blood with his Nazi boyfriend?
11. Yusuf’s eye tentacle parasite was extra gross.
And it didn’t have a tremendous impact on anything.
12. The records room at the French Ministry is full of *checks notes* ghost cats.
That’s all.
13. The big reveal around Leta’s father, who turned out to be a complete rapist.
But, like... what does this whole plot have to do with anything again?
14. Sweet, sweet Queenie’s defection to the dark side was a bit of a shock too.
Literally what? We're still processing that one.
15. Just pointing out that Grindelwald vapes a skull not once, but twice.
Very Johnny Depp of him. Ugh.
16. The second time he vapes it’s to show everyone that if wizards don’t take over the world, there’s gonna be World War II.
So did World War II happen because Grindelwald was stopped? Was stopping wizard fascism a mistake??
17. And of course, the big reveal: Dumbledore’s secret brother, Aurelius/Credence.
Not even the Weasleys gave all of their kids names that start with the same letter.
Alexis Nedd is a senior entertainment reporter at Mashable. A self-named "fanthropologist," she's a fantasy, sci-fi, and superhero nerd with a penchant for pop cultural analysis. Her work has previously appeared in BuzzFeed, Cosmopolitan, Elle, and Esquire.
