10 'Game of Thrones' reality shows we need now
With Game of Thrones ending in 2018, the great lords of HBO have masterminded several spinoffs. That's all fine and well, but what if we just put a Westerosi twist on known commodities? Imagine your favorite reality TV shows, but with a Game of Thrones twist.
Honestly, once you start thinking about it it's hard to resist, so we came up with a few 10 and imagined how they'd play out.
Eunuch Eye for the Straight Girl
Have you noticed how sleek and chic Daenerys’ winter wear is? For someone who’s barely lived in Westeros, let alone in winter, she looks fabulous -- thanks to Varys. How do you find the right outfit that says ‘Dragon Queen’ without the baggage of Meereen? What says “I banished my oldest advisor and ravaged the other in bed” but keeps a leader looking relatable? Varys’ inspiration includes the ladies of King’s Landing and his early years in Pentos. Tyrion carries fabric.
The Bachelorette: Cersei Lannister
Cersei finds most men utterly insipid, but that may change when Euron Greyjoy arrives at King’s Landing with a ventriloquist dummy. There’s Jaime, the conventionally handsome ladykiller (lady in the singular, becaise it’s her); Loras, playing nice to please a traditional family; Oberyn, a plant; Robert, who thinks he’s too good for this shit; and Rhaegar, who goes completely bananas on the first date. Everyone gets a hometown date because there is probably nothing more entertaining in the world.
My Super Sweet Sixteen feat. Joffrey Baratheon
Who among us doesn’t derive a little twisted entertainment from watching petulant teens bully their parents over a party? Speaking of twisted -- Joffrey’s Sweet 16 doubles as his wedding to one Margaery Tyrell, and everything must. Be. Perfect. From the entertainment to the pigeon pie to the wine, Joffrey has his hands in every element of this party. He throws tantrums when he can’t acquire Robb Stark’s head and when Sansa Stark declines the first 47 invites. Includes such gems as "ALL I GOT WAS A STUPID ANCIENT BOOK WITH ANCIENT KNOWLEDGE WHEN I JUST WANTED AN ESCALADE!"
The Great Westerosi Bake Off
Legendary Riverlands chef Hot Pie coaches aspiring Westerosi bakers, starting with his friends. Gendry’s dishes are mostly fish-based since he’s been in a boat for four years, and Arya is immediately disqualified for cooking multiple Freys.
Extreme Makeover: Hardhome Edition
Join our team as they revamp boring old dwellings all over the seven kingdoms. Add a pop of color to the cold stone of Castle Black to share your personality with your Night’s Watch brothers! Don’t let the dusty and solitude of Dragonstone stand in the way of a glamorous rebranding, or the traditions of the Red Keep limit its design possibilities.
Bonus: A Property Brothers edition starring Renly and Stannis Baratheon
Jerry Springer feat. Robert Baratheon
Things get sticky when King Robert Baratheon decides to go on TV and learns that he is the father, at least 17 times over, and not to his actual, documented children. Inevitably canceled after joke DNA test for Jaime Lannister proves he is father to all three of his sister’s kids.
My Strange Addiction feat. Ramsay Bolton
“My strange addiction: killing my own flesh and blood,” says the wild-eyed former bastard of House Bolton while standing over the corpses of his latest victims. Special appearance by Theon Greyjoy A.K.A. Reek and eventual backdoor pilot for Sansa Stark’s Undercover Boss Bitch.
RuPaul’s Drag Race with the Faceless Men
Drag makes you look like a whole new person, so no cheating, Faceless men! Face-changing is only allowed when a man says it is allowed, and all looks must be versatile for aspiring assassins. Hosted by RuPaul as played by Jaqen H’gar.
Jaime Lannister: Parts Unknown
Join the notorious Kingslayer as he travels the seven kingdoms, first with a fierce female knight and then with a foul-mouthed swordsman from King’s Landing! What adventures will they get into this week? Who lives, who dies, who tells your story loses a hand in battle or captivity?
The Voice hosted by Ed Sheeran
Is that not what they were doing in the woods anyway?
The entire Mashable Entertainment team contributed to this article.
Topics Game Of Thrones HBO
Proma Khosla is a Senior Entertainment Reporter writing about all things TV, from ranking Bridgerton crushes to composer interviews and leading Mashable's stateside coverage of Bollywood and South Asian representation. You might also catch her hosting video explainers or on Mashable's TikTok and Reels, or tweeting silly thoughts from @promawhatup.
