Hall of Famer Goose Gossage rips baseball 'nerds' in legendary rant

Yooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! The world does not contain enough fire and skull emojis for this one. 

Goose Gossage -- the 64-year-old Hall of Fame pitcher with the awesome name and the epic mustache -- just dropped a legendary rant against all those new-fangled youngsters ruining the grand old game of baseball. 

What we have here, folks, is some premium "Get off my lawn" content delivered straight from the Gran Torino gods.

Gossage immediately vaulted himself to legendary curmudgeon status by dropping F-bombs, S-bombs and lashing out left and right in a short interview with ESPN. 

The sexagenarian saved his best shots for the increasingly large role that analytics and data whizzes (think Moneyball) play in Major League Baseball. 

"It is a joke," Gossage told ESPN. "The game is becoming a freaking joke because of the nerds who are running it.

"I'll tell you what has happened: These guys played rotisserie baseball at Harvard or wherever the f*ck they went, and they thought they figured the f*cking game out. They don't know sh*t.

"A bunch of f*cking nerds running the game. You can't slide into second base. You can't take out the f*cking catcher because [Buster] Posey was in the wrong position and they are going to change all the rules. You can't pitch inside anymore. I'd like to knock some of these f*ckers on their ass and see how they would do against pitchers in the old days."

And Gossage's incendiary screed is even more fun to read when we bold certain parts. 

"It is a joke," Gossage told ESPN. "The game is becoming a freaking joke because of the nerds who are running it.

"I'll tell you what has happened, these guys played rotisserie baseball at Harvard or wherever the f*ck they went and they thought they figured the f*cking game out. They don't know sh*t.

"A bunch of f*cking nerds running the game. You can't slide into second base. You can't take out the f*cking catcher because [Buster] Posey was in the wrong position and they are going to change all the rules. You can't pitch inside anymore. I'd like to knock some of these f*ckers on their ass and see how they would do against pitchers in the old days."

Now that's how you rant, son! We're not saying Gossage is right and we're not saying he's wrong -- we're just saying he's awesome. 

You can go read the rest over at ESPN.com. Alternately, this Gran Torino clip summarizes it nicely.