15 awesome reasons not to vote this election
Nov. 8, 2016 may turn out to be one of the most important days in American history -- and millions of Americans couldn't give AF.
Every four years, tens of millions fail to show up to the polls on election day. Some struggle with family emergencies or work responsibilities, others simply hate long lines. Yet all of them, however, are equally shamed for not exercising their constitutional right to vote, the right that people across the globe fight and sometimes die to earn.
Over here at Mashable, though, we totally understand.
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There are many wonderful, completely rational reasons people choose not to vote on election day.
Those reasons should be respected. Below is a highly condensed list:
1. You're unconscious at the bottom of a well
2. You are not human, but a fish
3. Someone strapped you to a rocket and sent you into space and they don't send absentee ballots to Mars
4. You're just going to walk in there and vote for a man named Deez Nuts, anyways
5. You are this man:
6. You don't care if the wrong candidate is elected and all of your hopes and dreams do this:
7. You are totally #DownWithDictatorships
8. You are chained to your desk. Literally. Someone needs to call 911.
9. You are this height or below
10. You don't care if the wrong candidate is elected and dinosaurs rule the earth again
11. You're super sorry, but you're locked in the trunk of some strangers car rn, so . . . some other time?
12. This is your official residence
13. You think all the candidates are basically the same and also you are Gollum
14. You thought Isaac was the best Hanson brother because . . . c'mon. Where is your judgement?
15. You don't care who wins. You think both candidates are the same. You don't mind claiming responsibility for the (potential) upcoming apocalypse.
Happy election day, America!
BONUS: Can you find the potato in the sea of hamsters?
Topics Elections
Heather was the Web Trends reporter at Mashable NYC. Prior to joining Mashable, Heather wrote regularly for UPROXX and GOOD Magazine, was published in The Daily Dot and VICE, and had her work featured in Entertainment Weekly, Jezebel, Mic, and Gawker. She loves small terrible dogs and responsible driving. Follow her on Twitter @wear_a_helmet.
