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Guy makes a hilarious slam poetry video for sister who didn't FaceTime him back

'Yeah I had a sister...but more like a fister, fake sister.'

Sage Anderson

on August 1, 2019

You can't really explain the bond between siblings. One minute you have them in a chokehold for dominance over the TV remote, the next minute you're texting them surreal memes.

Even if you love them, eventually they'll grind your gears in one way or another. And when they do, what's the go-to revenge? Spamming them with texts? Barging in their room without asking? How about some passive-aggressive slam poetry?

Kristine Berchtold didn't answer her brother John's FaceTime call, so he decided to get back at her in the most sibling way he could — by sending her a little performance titled "Sister Betrayal."

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"Yeah I had a sister...but more like a fister, fake sister, she needs some lister... ine, to rinse out her bad breath. And by bad breath I mean, the stench of death upon our relationship." He goes on like this, punctuating his on-the-fly rhymes with cheeky jabs at his sister.

"We have a very comedic relationship in that we will go after each other in that way," John told Mashable. "Normally, I'll leave a voicemail pretending to be an angry businessman demanding his money to be returned (among other made up characters), or I'll simply text her "YOU'LL RUE THE DAY!" It's sort of this big running joke."

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Halfway through the video when he's in the middle of going off about his sister "sitting up pretty, up in the throne of, Kings of Leon—" the recording cuts out, but he starts ranting again as if nothing happened.

While John says he's never done slam poetry live onstage before, sometimes he will call his sister and improv a character on the fly, and she'll roll with it. "She will 'yes, and...' and play along, and then I'll hang up and we won't even speak for the rest of the day. We don't take the phone calls very seriously."

Kristine showed off their sibling phone habits too by lovingly calling him out on Twitter after she posted the video.

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Have you ever felt like going off at your sibling, punctuating your every word and waving your hands around to make your point? Twitter has.

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Some couldn't help but compare John's sick rhymes to the slam poetry scene from 21 Jump Street with Jonah Hill.

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John does say that he tries to speak to his family almost every day since he currently lives across the country, "so it's not a big deal if she [doesn't answer.] I just pretend it's a big deal because it's funny." But on the other hand he "apologizes to anyone who's seen the video."

Topics Memes

Sage Anderson

Sage is the newest Culture writer on the block at Mashable NYC. They recently graduated from Sarah Lawrence College, and have previously worked for The Dr. Oz Show, NorthSouth Productions, and on Netflix's 'The OA Part II'. Off the clock, they can be found testing out cupcake recipes, collecting dolls, and watching Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure for the millionth time.