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Twitter is freaking out about the existence of hairless animals

Everything you thought you knew is a lie.
 By 
Max Knoblauch
 on 
Twitter is freaking out about the existence of hairless animals
PETALUMA, CA - JUNE 21: Roman, a Meican hairless, is held up for the audience during the 25th annual World's Ugliest Dog contest at the Sonoma Marin Fair on June 21, 2013 in Petaluma, California. Walle, a basset and beagle mix won the honor of being the world's ugliest dog. (Photo by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images) Credit: Getty Images

If you show me a picture of an animal that's supposed to have hair or feathers without hair or feathers, I'll show you what I look like when I scream as loud as I can and throw a computer across the room.

Twitter, it seems, is on the same page.

Writer and comedian Dana Schwartz was doing some important googling and came across an image revealing what owls look like without feathers.

Owls, it turns out, are bug-birds with 98% alien DNA. If you didn't know, it's because the government didn't want you to know. If this information spreads, the public will become panicked and the economy could plummet.

Schwartz's thread quickly turned into a game of "who can share the most shocking hairless creature" and guess what, everybody won.

Everything you thought you knew is a lie.

There are secrets to this universe that you are not privy to.

Nothing is concrete. All of life is but a theory.

Go now, return to your life. Forget that you've seen this.

Topics Animals

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Max Knoblauch

Max Knoblauch is the Assistant Humor Editor in the NYC office. He is a journalist, comedian and illustrator. More humor and art by Max can be found on his website.Follow him @MaxKnoblauch

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