Man hilariously discovers the Harry Potter book he's reading is actually adult fan fiction
The Harry Potter series is basically mandatory reading for kids growing up. But don't worry -- if you missed your chance to read the books as a kid, it's never too late to start. Just, uh, make sure you buy the real thing.
Shelley Zhang recently had to have a tough conversation with her friend, Chris Chappell, who had a bit of a mishap while reading the Harry Potter series. Or, rather, attempting to read the Harry Potter series.
Chappell apparently accidentally stumbled on a fan fiction version of The Order of the Phoenix -- the fifth book in the series -- instead of the real one by beloved author, JK Rowling.
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"Chris had kind of missed the boat on the whole Harry Potter phenomenon," Zhang wrote in an email. "He never read the books or saw the movies, and about a month ago he said he was going to read the Harry Potter books and finally catch up with 20 years of pop culture."
Big mistake.
Zhang's first red flags that Chappell was maybe reading the wrong version began with a conversation in which Chappell claimed that Dudley -- Harry Potter's annoying, spoiled cousin -- dies in the book. While many Potter fans would love to see Dudley perish, he does not. Zhang had to break the news to her friend who, at first, does not believe it.
"What the what?! You're trolling me," Chappell texted Zhang when she had to be the bearer of the bad news.
Chappell explained that, in his rendition of the story, Dudley dies by jumping off his school building, having been compelled to do so while under the Imperious Curse.
"Uh, I don't know what you're reading," Zhang texted,"but it's not the Order of the Phoenix."
But it gets worse. Way, way worse.
"I assume the scene where Harry and Hermione get intimate?" Chappell asked.
Zhang had to give Chappell the awkward and yet obvious information that there is no sex in the books because, you know, they're for kids.
Finally, Zhang confronted her friend, asking if he thought this was a bit weird for a kid's book. That's when things took a real hard turn.
"Okay, so I think I know what the answer is going to be, but Did Draco and Ginny fake a rape scene," he asked.
Now, to be fair, Zhang's friend accurately heard that the books got darker, and more mature as they went along. But they didn't get that dark or adult.
"What sick freak wrote this?!?!" Chappell asked after coming to terms with the fact that the book he was reading was definitely one of fan fiction.
Zhang revealed that she did think something was off, but didn't want to confront him too early on because she didn't want to reveal any spoilers. What a good friend.
"Over the last few weeks, we'd occasionally discuss Harry Potter and nothing he said seemed off," Zhang wrote in an email. "But I also didn't want to spoil things for him since he somehow had remained unspoiled all these years, so we wouldn't really talk about plot points."
Zhang tweeted another screenshot of their conversation, where she had to break more awkward news -- this time that Ginny and Draco are not, and never will be, a thing.
Chappell's slow revelation that there was something seriously messed up with the book he was reading was as apparently as much of a joy to Zhang as it was to everyone else on Twitter.
"When he started asking me about all of the 'intimate moments' and about Hermione sending Harry a picture of herself in a bikini, I lost it," Zhang said. "I was laughing so hard I started shaking."
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Others shared similar stories.
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Well, if there is any lesson to be learned here, it's that you should never cop out and buy the ebook version of a book unless you know it's the real deal.
"My sister and I own a full set of the hardcover books and we offered to lend them to him, but he told us he already had ebooks," Zhang said.
Thankfully, the first four books Chappell read were legit, so at least he doesn't have to start over completely. And he does plan on reading the real version of the book, though Zhang says she's afraid he'll like the fan fiction better.
And though he is reasonably scarred, Chappell reportedly found the whole thing to be pretty hilarious.
"When we figured out that he was actually reading 'weird fan fiction,' Chris also started laughing so hard he cried," Zhang wrote.
And for those interested, it appears as if Chappell was reading Harry Potter and the Psychic Serpent by Barb LP. You know, just in case you're bored.
Chappell and Zhang work together on a show called China Uncensored.
Topics Books Harry Potter
