Save yourself from watching the dreadful 'Independence Day: Resurgence'
"Honestly, what did I just watch?"
That is a note I wrote to myself immediately after watching Independence Day: Resurgence.
Just know that you're not really buying a ticket to a movie, but rather the WTF Roland Emmerich Aliens and Explosions Show. Actually, that sounds way more fun than the film I saw, which was a wreck of spaceships and shooting and terrible green screens (despite the absurdly large budget).
You May Also Like
Absurd, in general, is a good way to describe this movie, which is a term one must use very loosely to describe this ... experience.
It is almost instantly obvious why Resurgence didn't screen for critics before its June 24 release. It should barely screen for the public. It's difficult to generally recommend to even the most diehard fanatics of the original Indepedence Day, because it's not fun-bad, crazy-bad or just sit-down-and-enjoy-the-aliens bad. It's just bad.
Here's what can be gathered of its deliriously loose plot: an alien ship comes down to Earth. Earth attacks it, kicking off a brand new war.
In this mix is President Lanford (Sela Ward), frayed former President Witmore (Bill Pullman) and David Levinson (Jeff Goldblum).
Also there is Dylan Hiller (Jessie T. Usher), son of the late hero Captain Steven Hiller, originally played by Will Smith (don't hold your breath for a cameo). Young Hiller does get to shout “Get ready for a close encounter, bitch!” but the winking attempt at Smith-esque line will just make you wince. Usher, sadly, doesn't have an ounce of Smith's charisma.
Newly thrown in is Jake Morrison (Liam Hemsworth), the scrappy, wannabe Han Solo type full of anemic swagger. He's engaged to Patricia Whitmore (played by Maika Monroe, who is definitely not Mae Whitman). They have zero chemistry and their relationship is clumsily established, pretty much like everything else in this movie. Plus, unfortunately, her character fits neatly into the nurturing romantic lead archetype once cleverly described by Emma Thompson as the type of female role whose only job is to beg her man, "Please don’t go and do that brave thing."
Also also in the mix is alien scientist and romantic foil Catherine Marceaux (Charlotte Gainsbourg), pilots Rain Lao (played by Hong Kong-based starlet Angelababy) and Charlie Miller (Travis Tope), as well as returning characters Dr. Brakish Okun (Brent Spiner), Julius Levinson (Judd Hirsch) and Jasmine Hiller (Vivica A. Fox).
Is it starting to sound like eight movies combined into one? Good, because that's what it feels like for the entire two hours. There are so many moving pieces and subplots and superfluous characters (there's a whole bit about a cross-country road trip with Joey King that's totally unnecessary) that you'll be dizzy by the end.
Bottom line? Save yourself from this trainwreck and watch the original movie on cable instead.
Have something to add to this story? Share it in the comments.
Yohana Desta was the senior film reporter for Mashable. She is a Northern Virginia native and an American University grad. She enjoys carefully curating her Instagram account and can often be found reading books, going to concerts, watching movies and learning way too much about pop culture.
