I am 100% on board with Jose Canseco's compelling 'Stranger Things' theory

Canseco's Origin of Species.
 By 
Max Knoblauch
 on 
I am 100% on board with Jose Canseco's compelling 'Stranger Things' theory
OAKLAND, CA - SEPTEMBER 03: Former Oakland Athletics Jose Canseco looks on prior to the start of the game between the Boston Red Sox and Oakland Athletics at Oakland-Alameda County Coliseum on September 3, 2016 in Oakland, California. (Photo by Thearon W. Henderson/Getty Images) Credit: Getty Images

It was Oct. 30, 2017; 12:52 a.m. EST. The Los Angeles Dodgers had just begun their three-run rally in the top of the ninth inning in World Series Game 5 with a thrilling two-run home run to left by outfielder Yasiel Puig. The score was 12-11 Astros, and in within 10 minutes the Dodgers would send the game into extra innings.

Meanwhile, the 1988 American League MVP Jose Canseco logged onto Twitter to tweet this Stranger Things fan theory:

There's a lot to take in here. That being said, I'm 100 percent on board.

Let's get a closer look at this tweet.

So, the main points in Canseco's Stranger Things fan theory -- which will, from this point forward, be referred to as "Canseco's Origin of Species" -- are as follows:

  1. Canseco himself may be from the Upside Down, the parallel dimension featured in Netflix's Stranger Things.

  2. The human race may very well be an invading species, much like the demon slug/slug-dog/slug-men demogorgons from Netflix's Stranger Things.

  3. This, as a whole, would explain evolution.

Knowing what we know about evolutionary biology (very little), Jose Canseco (very little), and the timeless, otherworldly adult twins/ Stranger Things creators the Duffer brothers (very little), I see no immediate reason to reject Canseco's Origin of Species theory. In fact, I would argue that the theory deserves equal time in public schools.

I am certain that reasonable people would agree.

As we all know, the burden of proof now rests with the scientific community at large. Can they provide enough evidence to dismiss Canseco's theory that Stranger Things is how humanity began? I very much doubt it.

In any case, Canseco returned to regularly scheduled programming with his next tweet:

Thank you, Mr. Canseco, for starting the conversation.

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Max Knoblauch

Max Knoblauch is the Assistant Humor Editor in the NYC office. He is a journalist, comedian and illustrator. More humor and art by Max can be found on his website.Follow him @MaxKnoblauch

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