Don't @ Me: Just close your browser tabs

I'm not normally a fan of idealizing the past — there are just as many horrors to be found in looking backwards as there are in looking ahead — but I can think of one good reason why life might have been a little bit better when computers were really slow and crappy.

People these days are way too comfortable walking around with dozens (if not hundreds) of browser tabs open on their phone or laptop at any given time. This has been normal for a number of years, and I'm here to argue that it shouldn't be. I understand that I can't control anyone else's behavior, and I wouldn't if I could, but hear me out. This isn't for my sake, but for yours.

Having a gargantuan number of tabs open is a decadent privilege that those of us who grew up before tabbed browsing could never imagine 20 years ago. Back before the days of smartphones, when people had one point of internet access in their homes, at most, and otherwise spent their days blissfully disconnected, computers were pretty slow. Unless you had a serious rig, you were probably dealing with a store-bought piece of crap that buckled if you opened more than five tabs at once.

This may sound like a bad thing, but in hindsight, that particular limitation helped me form some life-changing habits. I learned that if I didn't handle my business in an open tab and left it there to fester and take up valuable RAM, everything else about the computer-using experience would get worse. Clicking around on funny soundboards or watching flash videos (these are things we used to do online) became sort of a nightmare if you weren't careful.

More broadly, I learned that I need to be decisive when determining whether or not I'm really going to get back to something later. If I open an interesting-sounding article and don't read it within an hour, that tab's getting closed. The same goes for a YouTube video or anything else that comes across my feeds. If it's urgently important to me, I'll try to get to it as soon as possible. If not, then, well, sayonara. If it isn't so fascinating that I need to get to it within the hour, I can probably live without it. It's sort of applying the Marie Kondo method to your digital life: Does this tab really spark interest?

In this era of constantly being a consumer in one fashion or another, whether with your literal dollars or just with your time and energy, it's important to realize that you can't get to everything. You're not going to read every trendy personal essay that your friends are dunking on or watch every viral YouTuber apology video. You might think you will, but be realistic with yourself. The zeitgeist around that essay was four months ago; are you really going to read it now?

Open your browser, count how many open tabs you have, and really take stock for a second. When was the last time you actually got to any of that stuff? If it wasn't recently, just flush it all down the toilet. Free yourself from your burdens. If any of it actually matters to you, it'll pop up in your brain again eventually.