5 healthy ways to part with your Kevin Durant jersey that don't involve fire
On July 4, Kevin Durant announced his decision to leave a very successful Oklahoma City Thunder team to join the slightly more successful Golden State Warriors.
In case you weren't aware, NBA fans outside of California are not happy with this. Some former Durant supporters have gone so far as to burn their Oklahoma City jerseys. Sad!
We understand fans' frustrations, but would argue that there are healthier ways to part with your Durant jerseys. To help you heal, we've compiled a guide to amicably ending your relationship with your Durant jersey.
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We're here for you.
1. Understand that you and your Durant jersey have problems and talk about them
Look, there's no reason to end things caustically. The first step is communicating to your Durant jersey that you don't feel the way you used to. It's a hard but necessary step to a healthy split.
2. Try to make it work
Look, you spent 9 years with a jersey, there was obviously something that worked for you. You owe it to yourself to at least attempt to reconcile things -- maybe you could just wear the jersey around the house, maybe you could fold it up and keep it in a closet in case Durant comes back. Who knows. If it feels wrong, though, you need to end things.
3. Take some space and figure out yourself
It's going to be hard, but you need to remove yourself from the jersey altogether for a while. Maybe a month, maybe a year -- whatever works for you. This is a time for you to remember why you like basketball in the first place, without the pressure of going sleeveless.
4. Officially end things with your Durant jersey
Listen, sometimes things just aren't meant to be. It's time to have a frank talk with your Durant jersey. You don't want to burn it, but you can't keep it. Tell the Durant jersey to pack up and move out. Also like, donate it to a Goodwill or something.
5. Be open to the possibility of other jerseys
Just because your relationship with your Durant jersey ended poorly doesn't mean all jerseys are the same way. You'd be doing yourself a disservice to not consider a similarly sized Westbrook jersey. Go out, have fun, keep it casual. Your healing is complete.
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Max Knoblauch is the Assistant Humor Editor in the NYC office. He is a journalist, comedian and illustrator. More humor and art by Max can be found on his website.Follow him @MaxKnoblauch
