Hey 'Love Island,' turn your kissing mics down

Of all the sounds that can instantly induce a case of pretty strong nausea, the rancid sound of kissing is the lowest of the low.

But British reality dating show Love Island clearly doesn't mind, and decided it would treat viewers to an aural feast of absolutely repugnant lip-smacking on Monday. Viewers were rightfully appalled.

The cause of viewers' agita was a snogging challenge that pitted Love Island's main villa against its second villa, Casa Amor.

"The tallest boy must snog a girl of his choice," began the challenge, and the sound effects of the tonsil tennis that ensued were enough to turn even the strongest of stomachs.

As random contestants were assigned to snog each other according to factors such as their height or age, a cacophony of loud smooching noises was broadcast to horrified viewers.

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Reminiscent of your least favourite human smacking as they noisily masticate their lunch next to you, the Islanders' every lip motion could be heard. And it did not sound good. See if you can survive this clip:

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Because let's face it, kissing is fun when you're the person doing it. But for everyone else forced to look at it or — worse — listen to it, it's a shudder-inducing symphony of noises that should really never be heard in public. Lips mashing up against each other do not make an attractive sound, OK?

Some of us have learned the hard way (raises hand slowly). Earlier this year, I was enjoying an... uhhh... amorous moment with a date at Tottenham Court Road tube station. Bluntly put, we were snogging right in front of the tube sign, and a man had to ask us to move (sorry). But one of the most horrifying moments of my existence followed. A teenage boy who happened to be catching the Northern Line caught glimpse of me snogging this date and uttered the following words: "Oh yeah! Munch it!"

Well. I don't know if kissing will ever be the same for me after hearing those two sentences. But I learned a valuable lesson that night. No one really wants to witness the sight or sound of your snogging.

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So, here's a message for the producers of Love Island: do us a favour and lower that recording volume when people are locking lips. I'm not the only one who feels this way, either.

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Please! For the love of our poor, besieged ears — Turn! The! Mics! Down!