18-year-old asks man for advice on her startup, he texts back sleazy messages
It's a sad state of affairs when a woman reaches out for career advice from an industry influencer, and instead finds herself on the receiving end of inappropriate messages.
When 18-year-old Lydia Jones contacted a male entrepreneur for career advice, the conversation quickly took a handbrake turn into creepy territory.
Jones' says she wanted a steer on entering the tech scene in London as her start-up Trooops is based in the north of England and she's found it "very hard" to find people "willing to help" with growth and funding in that area. Jones told Mashable she reached out to the man after seeing him post "numerous times" in the London Startup and Entrepreneurs Facebook group.
"I simply asked him if he could introduce me to any mentors or advisors in London for growth and funding," says Jones.
But, the conversation that followed wasn't quite what she had in mind:
The entrepreneur began by asking her age, then her relationship status, and if her "BF" helps her.
When Jones responded that she is gay, the man replied, "Are you quite open about your sexuality?"
When she said she was, he followed up by asking, "So men don't turn you on at all?" Jones replied stating that she thought he was a "businessman," to which he replied, "I'm also a human being too right?"
Mashable reached out to the man involved. He agreed to comment anonymously, confirming he sent Jones the messages. But he also defended his behaviour:
"In the end I didn't say much else because I found out that it wasn't appropriate to ask her even though she said she was open," he said. "The digital and text word can be misunderstood" but if "this was said in person it wouldn't have been a big deal," he added
"Richard Branson said all publicity is good publicity so I'm glad she's spreading my brand around. I haven't committed a crime here," he continued. Asked if he could see how his messages could be perceived as inappropriate, he said: "Sure it's inappropriate if she doesn't admit "yes" to being sexually open."
"If you heard me talking in person you'd know I'm a nice person and I'm a very open conversationalist," he added.
When asked about sexism and harassment in the tech industry, Lydia Jones says there is an "overall vibe" she gets when she contacts people "on a daily basis." She says she senses a reluctance to "help females and especially someone aged 18".
An all too common problem
In April this year, a study found that sexual harassment is "common" in the tech industry. According to the research by the Kapor Center for Social Impact and Harris Poll, one in 10 women in tech experience unwanted sexual attention.
Sophia Matveeva, co-founder and CEO of the Style Counsel app, says that Jones' story is "not surprising." Matveeva says that when she was raising her first round of funding for the app, she was talking to people from a "vastly male-dominated industry" who didn't understand female products.
She says sexism in the tech industry is "huge," but there's also an issue with the way networking is conducted. "Networking with investors -- a lot of whom will be men -- puts you into territory which is very difficult," says Matveeva. She says that when you're raising funding, it's normal to want to be "pleasant and charming" but she's conscious that as a "single woman going to dinner with a wealthy man," she's in put in a tricky (and potentially vulnerable) position.
Lydia Jones isn't convinced that this problem is going to go away anytime soon. "In my opinion, this vibe won’t really change until we have a female founder / CEO of a platform on the same scale as a Airbnb or Twitter. But it should not have to be that way for women to be heard," says Jones.
Rachel Thompson is the Features Editor at Mashable. Rachel's second non-fiction book The Love Fix: Reclaiming Intimacy in a Disconnected World is out now, published by Penguin Random House in Jan. 2025. The Love Fix explores why dating feels so hard right now, why we experience difficult emotions in the realm of love, and how we can change our dating culture for the better.
A leading sex and dating writer in the UK, Rachel has written for GQ, The Guardian, The Sunday Times Style, The Telegraph, Cosmopolitan, Glamour, Stylist, ELLE, The i Paper, Refinery29, and many more.
Rachel's first book Rough: How Violence Has Found Its Way Into the Bedroom And What We Can Do About It, a non-fiction investigation into sexual violence was published by Penguin Random House in 2021.
