You will definitely trip over your new MacBook Pro and destroy it

Apple debuted a new line of MacBook Pros on Thursday, and they're missing something important: a MagSafe charger designed to protect the pricey computers when you blunder into their power cords in coffee shops, in conference rooms, and in the middle of the night.

The new MacBook Pros are outfitted with USB-C ports (which Apple calls Thunderbolt 3), a versatile, modern technology that Apple first introduced in last year's MacBooks. There are definitely advantages to USB-C, but who cares? You'll trip over your charger and explode your shiny new MacBook Pro.

You see, old Pros used a charger that connected magnetically to the device. If you tripped over the cord, it would simply detach from your computer, saving the unit from a potentially costly fall.

The new units will charge through the USB-C ports, which are obviously designed to ensure devices stay plugged in. After all, you wouldn't want an external hard drive to become unhooked in the middle of a file transfer.

Since the cords will have a firmer hold than MagSafe, you'll want to be careful to step gingerly around it when you're walking around your house. Maybe even lock your pets and children away when you're on the computer. Can't be too careful, right?