As an ally, I believe if I ever witness a woman being harassed I should text my girlfriend to tell her I love her

It's a known fact that women get constantly harassed in their everyday lives. And while some men are willing and able to intervene in the situation, it doesn't happen enough.

That's why it's time for good guys like me to speak up. I believe that if I ever witness harassment, I should text my girlfriend to tell her I love her.

What more help could I be as an ally, than when I see my coworker being sexually harassed by a man in her place of work, where she is the boss, I immediately text my girlfriend and tell her how much she means to me? Women need us to build them up so that they can stand up to those of us that are a disgrace.

Plus, growing up I was always made fun of for liking thicker girls, realizing at a young age that many men buy into the lies society teaches us, so I know what I'm talking about.

Let's put this in a day-to-day situation. Woman is catcalled on the street? Text my girlfriend, "You are so brave :-)." Man in higher position at work treats female coworker like a little girl? Leave voicemail on my girlfriend's phone telling her I'm thinking about her today. Man masturbates to woman on the subway? Run like hell to the next car, because that is very gross.

So ladies, if you're reading this: I'm one of the good ones. Did I mention my girlfriend is often thought of as "fat" or "chubby" by our flawed society?

I told my girlfriend about my acts of kindness to further learn from a woman how I, a working male feminist, could continue to improve. Her comments have unfortunately been redacted due to word count limitations.

But rest assured, they were largely positive.

While I know this story will be inspiring to many, please, try not to make it go viral. I am but one hero in a far larger narrative, and I don't need recognition or a Cosmopolitan write-up to know that if I keep doing what I'm doing, maybe someday all men will be able to "win feminism."

On second thought, make that Cosmo write-up just in case. I wouldn't want to miss the opportunity to teach another man what it really means to be an ally to women, and how to maybe even dig fat chicks.

Thanks for reading Mashable Humor: original comedy every day. Or most days. We're people, just like you, and we're trying our best.