Mom wants people to stop making stupid comments about daughter's birthmark
If you don't know, sometimes, you shouldn't ask.
Katie Crenshaw is mother to an adorable 6-month-old, Charlie Crenshaw. Charlie is an otherwise happy baby who happens to have a birthmark, known as a capillary hemagioma, on the right side of her face. For months, the mark has been all anyone wanted to talk about, and Crenshaw is sick of explaining.
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On Crenshaw's blog, Twelve and Six, she noted that the birthmark was completely "cosmetic" and would likely fade. Questions about the mark, while often well-intentioned, sometimes felt voyeuristic. Crenshaw is thankful for other people's concern, but isn't interested in their uninformed suggestions or platitudes:
"We don’t need to talk about it every time you look at her. We see past the color of her face. Charlie is Charlie and it’s part of who she is. It doesn’t need to be constantly commented on, critiqued, or questioned. While I don’t mind educating curious minds, I don’t need your opinion on how it its progress or the affect it may have on her. It’s a part of her unique beauty. It may never disappear, and guess what? It doesn’t have to," she wrote on her blog.
Crenshaw noted that her birthmark, which is a form of vascular tumor, doesn't have any known cause or prevention. Her daughter is happy and healthy, and she doesn't need your "prayers" that it will go away.
"What if I came up to you and loudly asked “What’s wrong with your baby’s weird ____ ?” Or, “I will pray for your child that her (genetically unusual quality) goes away," she wrote.
Since posting her story, Crewnshaw's post has attracted hundreds of other parents, many of them struggling with the same issue.
While the reaction has been "Overwhelmingly positive, with some sanctimonious judgment sprinkled in," she's (mostly) been overwhelmed with support.
"I have received hundreds of beautiful messages from people all over the world, at least 20 countries, who have grown up with large birthmarks on their face that say they owe their confidence and individuality to their "difference" and the way their parents responded to it," Crenshaw told Mashable in an email.
She's not the only one, it seems, tired of people's pity. Sympathy often doesn't help anyone but the sympathizer. Crenshaw wants people to look past her daughter's birthmark and ask better questions. There's so much to think about and answer.
Heather was the Web Trends reporter at Mashable NYC. Prior to joining Mashable, Heather wrote regularly for UPROXX and GOOD Magazine, was published in The Daily Dot and VICE, and had her work featured in Entertainment Weekly, Jezebel, Mic, and Gawker. She loves small terrible dogs and responsible driving. Follow her on Twitter @wear_a_helmet.
