Papa John's new pizza fast pass is either evil genius or just genius

Just when you thought pizza was peaceful again, there's drama at the pepperoni slicer.

Papa John's Pizza recently rolled out a new delivery feature, "Papa Priority," at select locations. For a $3 fee, those who need their pizza like, now can force their pie order to the front of the production line. It's effectively a fast pass for pizza. Great? Great! Who doesn't want their pizza as quickly as possible? (We all do.)

But of course there are issues. The fee comes in addition to a delivery fee and tip. Additionally—and probably most importantly—it doesn't actually mean your pizza will go out faster. If your pie is the first one done but all the drivers are still out on other deliveries, it could take just as long as if you were further down the line, leaving you salivating, hungry, and out three more dollars than you would be otherwise. Aka, hangry.

Papa John's has offered the option in some locations since as early as July 2016, according to a Facebook post featured on the Consumerist. (The unhappy customer quips "you should change your name to Papa Greedy's"; the chain does, however, cap priority orders at five per location a day.)

A Papa John's representative, when asked about possible backlash, said Papa Priority has received "great customer reception," according to the Associated Press.

Meanwhile, in a Reddit post from September of 2016, an especially frequent Papa John's customer claims that paying for Priority had no real effect on how fast the order was delivered:

Redditor The_Rick_Sanchez does note, however, that delivery is consistently slow at his location, even though he lives only 8 minutes away from the store.

As for making improvements in your area? Papa John's says "it's looking for ways to expand the test." And now, the thing is, we really want pizza.