Does pineapple really make your cum taste better? An investigation.

As Sex and the City's Samantha Jones once said, "Honey, they don't call it a job for nothing."

And, as you might have guessed from the headline, we're talking about blowjobs. Specifically, whether consuming pineapple affects the taste of your, err, semen. In layman's terms — and please do pardon the graphicness — does it make your cum taste better?

This burning question is one that's currently doing the rounds on TikTok, with many claiming that the tropical fruit holds a secret power. As with many supposed 'facts' being circulated on social media, we have to ask: is there any truth to this?

Never one to shy away from uncomfortable subjects, I decided it was incumbent upon me to get to the bottom of this issue and to investigate whether eating copious amounts of pineapple will make your spunk less funky (I'm sorry).

After speaking to two doctors, we can safely say that it's a little bit more complicated than TikTok creators will have you believe.

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Men’s health expert GP Dr. Jeff Foster from H3 Health told Mashable that more than 80 percent of semen is made up of water. "The rest of it contains the following: amino acids, citric acid phosphorous potassium, zinc, calcium, sodium potassium, and various enzymes," said Foster. "The proportions of these have evolved over hundreds of thousands of years to support sperm as it makes its journey towards to an egg for reproduction."

Changing the taste of semen would mean altering these core components, said Foster. "There are no quality studies that have really looked at this as it is a difficult thing to justify getting funding for," he added. "However there are certain foods that are supposed to make semen taste sweeter, i.e. those high in fructose/glucose (for example pineapple, orange juice, kiwi)."

Foster said that in reality, eating these fruits is unlikely to make a difference to semen taste. "If it did, it would alter the constituents of the medium that the sperm is in and potentially damage it. Semen is almost completely protected from what you eat," he explained.

The idea itself doesn't make much sense, according to Foster. "If you eat pineapple, it goes into your stomach, is then digested, goes into your liver and blood and eventually small aspects of it broken down many times, are used to make more semen products in the future," he said. "It is not linked directly at all and even if it did, it would take weeks."

Dr. Dmitry Loktionov — a gynaecologist and sexual health specialist who developed CBD lube Quanna — agreed that there is insufficient research into the subject to prove that pineapples have an impact. "Not much research has been done on the subject, but also there are no specific indications that the composition of sperm changes after eating pineapple," said Loktionov. "Generally, a healthy diet will contribute to healthier or 'better tasting' sperm, compared to an unhealthy, junk food diet and smoking, alcohol etc."

Loktionov said that the same rule is true for people with vulvas. "Vaginal pH changes with women's overall health and diet as it contains a lot of bacteria — Lactobacillus, for example — which respond to such changes. But specifically saying that pineapple will change its taste is not correct. It's about more major changes to your diet," he explained.

Foster added that the best thing to do is drink plenty of fluid, which might help dilute any taste, and to keep good hygiene.

Sorry to anyone that's been bulk-buying pineapples. On the upside, your body's probably loving the Vitamin C boost.

This article was originally published in 2022 and republished in 2023.