Robots to deliver pizza, lulling us into food-comas for eventual takeover
When this all goes awry and our few surviving ancestors trace back the origins of the robot revolution, they'll find this moment as a major milestone of The Before Time: robots delivering pizza.
Domino's Pizza is teaming up with Starship Technologies for a pilot program that will roll out pizza delivery in Europe courtesy of a cute little robot that looks like something that would be friends with R2-D2.
According to a Starship, the little robot – let's call him Buddy because terrifying futures always start with innocuous cuteness – will deliver Domino's pizzas to locations within a mile of select stores in a handful of Dutch and German cities.
Ahti Heinla, CEO of Starship Technologies made a pun-laden statement about the partnership: “Not only is Domino’s pizza delicious, but the perfect topping is giving back the luxury of time and control to the customer, and our robots are best placed to offer this.”
Buddy (again, not the robot's real name but work with me) weighs around 40 pounds and zip around at about four miles per hour which is within the normal walking speed of your average, every day, unsuspecting human.
Domino's hasn't responded to a request for comment, but in Starship's release, Domino’s Group CEO Don Meij said, “Robotic delivery units will complement our existing delivery methods, including cars, scooters and e-bikes, ensuring our customers can get the hottest, freshest-made pizza delivered directly to them, wherever they are."
In case this sounds familiar, it's because Domino's has been experimenting a lot over the past few years in making pizza delivery – and the robot uprising – easier. There was ordering via emoji and delivery via drone in New Zealand. For those okay with analog delivery, the pizza chain had to sadly scrap plans for delivery via reindeer in Japan.
But let's get back to Buddy. Starship calls the wee bot "secure," "smart," and "friendly" -- it dodges pedestrians and strives to be a safe addition to the sidewalk. But you can't fool me, Buddy. Your tiny wheels and little pennant may fool others but I'm on to you.
Keep delivering pizzas and other takeout food that makes us fatter and slower. Keep making us easier to catch as all those fatty delivery foods make it more difficult to out-run you. Just stay the course.
But know this, Buddy: I'm watching.
Marcus Gilmer is Mashable's Assistant Real-Times News Editor on the West Coast, reporting on breaking news from his location in San Francisco. An Alabama native, Marcus earned his BA from Birmingham-Southern College and his MFA in Communications from the University of New Orleans. Marcus has previously worked for Chicagoist, The A.V. Club, the Chicago Sun-Times and the San Francisco Chronicle.
