She threw her poop out the window. Then her Tinder date really went off the rails.
There's nothing like a good poop story. There's nothing like a horrific Tinder experience. Mash the two together, and you've got a tale for the ages.
A woman allegedly got herself stuck between two windows attempting to retrieve a poop she threw out of a window on a Tinder date. Confused? We'll explain.
Bristol University postgraduate student Liam Smith says he went on a Tinder date in early August. After a bite to eat, the two ended up at Smith's house to watch a Scientology documentary. How romantic.
"About an hour in to Louis Theroux and chill, my date got up to use the toilet," Smith wrote. "She returned with a panicked look in her eye, and told me she had something to tell me."
Apparently the woman's poop was so large that it would not flush down the toilet, and she panicked. She wrapped the oversized load in toilet paper, and threw it out of the window, according to Smith. After realizing that tossing poop out of a window is a pretty shitty thing to do, the woman confessed what she did to Smith, who attempted to fix the situation. Except there's a twist.
"Unfortunately, owing to a design quirk of my house, the toilet window does not in fact open to the garden, but instead into a narrow gap of about a foot and a half, seperated[sic] from the outside world by another (non-opening) double glazed window. It was into this twilight zone that my date had thrown her poo," Smith wrote on GoFundMe.
Smith says that he was prepared to destroy the window, but his date decided she wanted to fix the situation by attempting to retrieve the poop. Bad idea.
"Unfortunately she couldn't reach," Smith wrote. "She climbed further in and had the same problem. Eventually I agreed to give her a boost up and into the window. She climbed in head first after her own turd, reached deeper into the window, bagged it up, and passed it out, over the top and back into the toilet from whence it came. She called out to me to help her climb out from the window, I grabbed her waist and I pulled. But she was stuck. Stuck fast. Try as we might, we could not remove her from the window."
After 15 minutes of struggle, the fire brigade was called in and the woman was freed from the window. Unfortunately, the rescue workers were not so gentle with the window, and it was destroyed in the process, setting Smith back £300, about $390. He has since decided to set up a GoFundMe to try to recover funds to replace the broken window.
The crowdfunding campaign got some decent attention, and the local media picked up the story, confirming with the fire department that there was indeed an incident at the residence.
According to the Bristol Post, the "Avon Fire and Rescue service confirmed they received a call on August 7 to Liam’s address."
A spokesperson for the fire department told the Post, “We received a call at 22:41 to one female trapped between interior and exterior glass."
Smith says that he will split any extra funds raised from the GoFundMe campaign between a charity that helps build flushing toilets for the developing world and one that benefits firefighters, because the rescue workers who came were so kind and professional.
At the time of writing, Smith raised £963, so it's safe to say he'll be donating a decent amount of money.
As for the date, Smith told the Post they did meet up again to discuss the crowdfunding campaign, and that potential romance is not off the table.
“She’s a lovely girl – I’m not sure what’s going to happen – I’m really busy with my dissertation at the moment but I’d certainly be open to seeing her again,” he said.
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