Practical gift ideas for telling your son it's time to move out

Some of these aren't too subtle, but he's also not too bright.
 By 
Shelby Slauer
 on 
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Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable

Christmas is a great time to show your loved ones that you care with great presents. But it can also be a good time to show your loved ones they're long overdue for moving out of your house.

As much as you love them, you know it's time. And you just want your damn life back.

This Christmas, consider these practical gift ideas that send the message to your son that it's time for him to move out.

Blender

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Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable

No one needs a blender if they live in a house that actually has one. This Nutri Ninja Pro blender will make your son say, "But don't we already have a blender?" then pause for a minute, then say, "Oh."

Plus, it's a really nice blender.

Wine glasses

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Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable

Some nice wine glasses say, "These are for you when your friends come over to your house and you hang out." The message will probably only be received if you give your son this 12 pack of wine glasses, though.

The movie “Get Out” on Blu-Ray

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Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable

Giving your son the movie Get Out is a slightly more blunt way to tell him to leave your house and carry on with adulthood. This will work even better if you already own Get Out.

Wrap empty boxes for him to use so he can move

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Credit: Getty Images/Hoxton

Actual presents would be useless when it's better to fit the things in that he already has in his room.

An answering machine filled with voicemails from a man saying he can only come to fix the hot water next week

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Closeup of a VoIP telephone keypad with focus on the mute button, which disables the microphone. The button is illuminated in red, meaning the feature is enabled. Credit: Getty Images/iStockphoto

This gift idea is more abstract. Filling the answering machine with voicemails from a man alludes to a super, which alludes to your son living in an apartment and not your house. The desired result is that he will panic and think he has to respond to this fake super, realize he doesn't live in an apartment and not your house, and learn a little bit more about himself, and the real estate market far away from your neighborhood, along the way.

Rent a U-Haul filled with all of his presents to open

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Front view of a U-Haul moving truck in the parking lot of an apartment complex in the San Francisco Bay Area, California, September 12, 2016. In 2014-2015, more than 90,000 new residents moved to the Bay Area, one of the largest population increases on record for the region. (Photo via Smith Collection/Gado/Getty Images). Credit: Getty Images

That way he's already halfway there!

We hope these gift ideas encourage your son to realize that you no longer want him living in your house.

Thanks for reading Mashable Humor: original comedy every day. Or most days. We're people, just like you, and we're trying our best.

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Shelby Slauer

Shelby does standup in NYC and contributes writing to nice places. Someday she wants a nice back porch. Follow her on Twitter or check out her website, why don't you.

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