'SNL' asks Trump about 'big Russian pee-pee parties' in first cold open of 2017

"I do not want to talk about pee-pee!"
 By  L.A. Ross  on 
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Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable

As if they needed a setup beyond the "failing pile of garbage" that’s been the last few weeks of current events, Saturday Night Live took on President-elect Donald Trump’s controversial press conference last week -- and unsubstantiated reports of his "big Russian pee-pee party" -- for its first cold open of the new year.

And just like that much-maligned newser, the sketch did not disappoint.

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Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable

Alec Baldwin braved the inevitable oncoming Trump Twitter tirade to reprise his role as the president-in-waiting, touting Trump’s star-studded inauguration lineup, including "Jackie what’s-her-face" from America’s Got Talent and -- hold onto your tits and bits -- THREE. DOORS. DOWN.

Reporters asked serious questions about the Senate’s recent vote to repeal Obamacare (which, yes, is the same thing as the Affordable Care Act) and Russia’s role in tipping the election for the Republican.

And Trump trotted out his sons, "Beavis and Butthead" (Donald Jr., Mikey Day, and Eric, Alex Moffat), to give a thoroughly convincing explainer on how his businesses will be run to prevent conflicts of interest.

Important things!

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Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable

But what everyone really wanted to know about is Russia’s role in those "golden shower parties" alleged in an unsubstantiated but utterly amusing private memo leaked by Buzzfeed earlier this week.

The perfect opportunity for a steady flow of presidential pee jokes.

"I do not want to talk about the pee-pee!" Baldwin said, instead promising a "thick stream of jobs" for Americans to look forward to.

"The biggest, strongest, steadiest stream you’ve ever seen. This country will be literally showered with jobs. Because I am a major whiz at jobs."

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Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable

And if we were worried that retired brain surgeon Ben Carson might not make the best HUD secretary in American history, no worries, because here’s Steve Harvey!

"That’s right, I do government now," said Keenan Thompson, in his ever flawless Harvey impersonation.

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Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable

Fortunately, Baldwin joked, we probably won’t actually have to deal with a Trump presidency for long:

"Listen, sweetheart. I’m about to be president. We’re all gonna die."

Topics SNL Donald Trump

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Josh Dickey

Josh Dickey is Mashable's Entertainment Editor, leading Mashable's TV, music, gaming and sports reporters as well as writing movie features and reviews.Josh has been the Film Editor at Variety, Entertainment Editor at The Associated Press and Managing Editor at TheWrap.com.A finalist for the Los Angeles Press Club's Best Entertainment Feature in 2015 for "Everyone is Altered: The Secret Hollywood Procedure that Fooled Us for Years," Josh received his BA in Journalism from The University of Minnesota.In between screenings, he can be found skating longboards, shredding guitar and wandering the streets of his beloved downtown Los Angeles.

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