You probably shouldn't give skincare as a gift

Like a lot of other people who pride themselves on organization to a point, I have a designated “miscellaneous bin” where I put the items I don’t have a place for but can’t bear to throw away. In it are various craft supplies, a ruler, hard candy from restaurants that I might be interested in eating someday. There are also a lot of sheet masks.

The sheet masks are gifts from well-meaning friends and relatives. In fact, they're really good gifts. These people have noticed and remembered that I'm into skincare, which is kind and thoughtful. The issue is that I can't use the gift — and I'm not alone here. In a lot of cases, I'm not sure skincare should be gifted at all.

I've had acne-prone skin since my late teens, and the breakouts (though they've changed in placement and form) have stuck around into adulthood. After years of trial, error, errant breakouts, and various medications, I now follow a strict, fairly bare-bones skincare routine which mostly — mostly — keeps my skin from getting out of control.

If there's one thing I've learned from my trials by serum, though, it's that one wrong ingredient could send my face flesh into a tailspin. I simply can't risk it all by using a product I didn't choose — no matter how well it was intended.

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The skincare industry is booming, and even a cursory glance at Instagram will tell you that thousands of people now count it among their hobbies. The thing about skincare, though, it's that it's not just a hobby. For people with skin conditions or sensitive skin, it veers heavily into the medical, existing not as a way to improve upon already-good skin but as a treatment for painful, anxiety-inducing, emotionally taxing skin conditions. (I certainly don't use boring old CeraVe because it's a fun hobby — it's one of the only cleansers that doesn't make me break out.)

For someone with naturally blemish-free skin, a gifted Vitamin C serum might be a fun experiment: Maybe it'll make their skin a little brighter, but if not no big deal. For some who struggles with acne, a gifted Vitamin C serum is a source of stress. If it works well, great; if it proves to be an irritant, they'll likely be dealing with the fallout — flareups, anxiety, self-esteem issues, pain — for weeks.

Not all skincare gifts are bad, of course. If you're close with someone and already know their skincare routine, re-upping their supply of their favorite product — especially a pricey one — is a great idea.

The key to a skincare gift is to "know your audience," says Dr. Michele Farber, a dermatologist at NYC's Schweiger Dermatology Group. "If your friend faithfully uses an expensive retinol, buying that would be a really thoughtful gift. However, if you’re buying products for a person who has active skin concerns — breakouts, very gentle skin — choose your gift more judiciously to make sure it is well received."

This is particularly true when shopping for someone who has acne, though I'd argue that acne products are never a good gift under any circumstances. (Several people have told me stories of acne-related gifts gone wrong; one friend, for instance, told me she cried for an hour after her boyfriend gave her a set of acne care products one Christmas.) The holidays are often a hotbed for anxiety, and letting someone know you've noticed the condition of their skin is, to put it nicely, not the move.

If you absolutely must go the skincare route, or if your recipient has specifically requested a gift in the skincare category, Dr. Farber recommends choosing something mild. "Gentle products in the category of anti-aging are usually well-tolerated," she says. "A gentle under eye cream or a rich, non-comedogenic moisturizer is generally a safe bet."

And if you receive a product you know you won't use, you don't have to relegate it to the miscellaneous bin. Dr. Farber recommends contacting a local shelter to see if it's seeking beauty product donations. You can also donate unopened items to Beauty Bus Foundation, which organizes pop-up beauty events for patients and caregivers at hospitals across the country; or Project Beauty Share, which provides unopened and (in some cases) gently used products to women and families in need.