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The best 'straight pride' memes for when you want to dunk on bigots

"Isn’t a straight pride parade just traffic."

Sage Anderson

on June 6, 2019

What's a pride parade without the rainbows, the public displays of LGBTQ love and community, and a history of resisting oppression spanning decades? A straight parade.

Straight pride is neither real nor necessary. But every year during Pride month, like clockwork, there are always a few huffy clowns that come out of the woodwork to ask, "What about me? Where's my parade?" It's like a kid at someone else's birthday party who cries when the birthday child opens gifts, but they don't get one too.

Some people insist on taking it a step further. Recently, three dudes in Boston wanted to prove how oppressed they really are as straight people by requesting a permit to host a "Straight Pride Parade."

Immediately, Twitter began to clown the guys. Of course, there were the nuanced takes on identity politics and privilege by public figures such as Chasten Buttigieg, AOC, and Smash Mouth. Even "woke bae" king of Twitter, Chris Evans, weighed in on organizers' "i am feel uncomfortable when we are not about me?" moment.

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And then, of course, there came the memes. What exactly would a straight pride parade look like? Well first off, it doesn't seem like it would be fun. What's there to celebrate? Khakis? Nicholas Sparks? Being able to walk down the street holding hands with your partner without fear?

Straight people, it's time to wave your monochrome flag with pride. We're here for you.

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We're sorry that the straight flag kinda sucks. But straight people have the best straight holiday of the year reserved just for them — the Kia Summer Sales Event.

UPDATE: June 27, 2019, 3:01 p.m. EDT According to Insider, Boston approved the public event application for the "Straight Pride" parade on Wednesday. However, the city's mayor, Martin J. Walsh, will not attend.

Topics X/Twitter Memes

Sage Anderson

Sage is the newest Culture writer on the block at Mashable NYC. They recently graduated from Sarah Lawrence College, and have previously worked for The Dr. Oz Show, NorthSouth Productions, and on Netflix's 'The OA Part II'. Off the clock, they can be found testing out cupcake recipes, collecting dolls, and watching Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure for the millionth time.