The most WTF 'Succession' quotes of the final season
So there we have it. After four seasons, a whole lot of scheming and a massive death, Succession has now come to an end.
And although every season was filled with lines that will be forever etched into our memories, Season 4 really had some doozies.
From Greg (Nicholas Braun) roasting Uncle Logan (Brian Cox) to Tom (Matthew Macfadyen) and Shiv (Sarah Snook) destroying each other emotionally, here are some of the most WTF quotes from Succession's final season.
"Where are your kids? Where's all your kids, uncle Logan? On your big birthday?" — Greg, episode 1
Not many people could get away with saying something so brutal to Logan himself, but somehow Greg – with his bumbling, unthreatening charm – gets away with it. In fairness, Logan did ask to be roasted.
"The good thing about having a family that doesn't love you is you learn to live without it." — Connor, episode 2
If you want very weird, and occasionally deeply tragic lines, Connor (Alan Ruck) is your man. He says this to his siblings the night before his wedding, before following it up with this gem: "You're needy love sponges, and I'm a plant that grows on rocks and lives off insects that die inside of me." Yikes.
"He never even liked me." — Connor, episode 3
The season's infamous episode three, which deals with Logan's sudden death during Connor's wedding, is full of harrowing moments. But the most quietly WTF line might be Connor's deadpan admission after first hearing the news of his dad's death.
"We're calling her a taxi to the subway so that she can go home to her little apartment" — Marcia, episode 4
Oh, you'd forgotten how brutal Marcia (Hiam Abbass) can be? Her return in episode four, when she kicks a distraught Kerry (Zoe Winters) out of Logan's old apartment, is a very clear reminder.
"Your earlobes are thick and chewy. Yeah, like barnacle meat." — Tom, episode 5
This is the first of several very WTF exchanges between Tom and Shiv, whose character trajectories could probably be described as somewhat rocky in Season 4. This is the moment Tom flicks her ear after she tries to scuff up his white shoes.
"I sent her some of my blood. Half a litre frozen blood brick. As a joke." — Matsson, episode 5
When potential Waystar buyer Lukas Matsson (Alexander Skarsgård) confesses to Shiv that he "might be in a bit of a pickle", pretty much the last thing we're expecting him to say is that he's been harassing his head of comms Ebba (Eili Harboe) by sending her large quantities of his own blood. Shiv, who's just as taken back as us, immediately offers some sage advice: "Stop sending people your blood."
"You wanna play bitey?" — Shiv, episode 6
After the weird earlobe exchange in episode five, Shiv's mid-party suggestion that her and Tom play "bitey" – a game where they bite each other's arms at the same time and see who gives in first – is a very weird, but sort of natural, extension. This is how Shiv and Tom do flirting, apparently.
"HR says I'm the right guy for the job because it looks like I care, but I don't." — Greg, episode 7
Did Greg use to be a nice guy? Maybe, but by Season 4 he's been fully corrupted. The way he cheerfully boasts to Matsson about firing 100 people is clear proof of that.
"I think you are incapable of love. And I think you are maybe not a good person to have children with." — Tom, episode 7
Unfortunately, after the weird flirting and a very brief reunion, Shiv and Tom's relationship quickly goes back downhill again before proceeding to plummet to newer depths. The entire exchange they have at their pre-election party is horrible, but this line – especially given that Shiv is secretly pregnant at the time – stings the most.
“If I lose, I want it correctly characterized as a huge victory.” — Mencken, episode 8
This is potential future president Jeryd Mencken telling Roman how he wants a potential election loss "characterised". Yep, it's horribly reminiscent of Trump's baseless 2020 election fraud claims.
"Like, is that even true? Or is that like, a new position or a tactic?" — Tom, episode 8
This is Tom's response moments after Shiv tells him she's pregnant with his child. The two of them are so used to playing mind games, and living in a world where everyone constantly has an angle, that Tom can't even believe his own wife when she tells him she's pregnant.*
"Nothing matters, Ken. Nothing fucking matters. Dad's dead and the country's just a big pussy waiting to get fucked." — Roman, episode 8
Roman's bluntness is painful by this point on election night. The only thing he cares about is getting Mencken elected so he'll scrap the GoJo deal, and it's hard to pick which part of this exchange is more disturbing: his comment about America or his repeated statement that "nothing matters".*
"If I see you breastfeeding, I am gonna have to jerk off." — Roman, episode 9
Nothing like some heartfelt words from your brother after you announce your pregnancy.
"Marcia's looking chic. Yummy. Sexy funeral lady. If you're weirded out by that, wait 'till I have sex with her on dad's coffin." — Roman, episode 9
Roman is truly in peak gross-out mode on the day of his dad's funeral.
"You’ve finally fallen in love with... our scheduling opportunities." — Tom, episode 10
Tom and Shiv said some messed up stuff to each other this season, but for some reason this one hit extra hard.
"I don’t like to think about these blobs of jelly rolling around. Face eggs." — Caroline, episode 10
"Peter doesn’t like the knobbies." — Caroline, episode 10
Caroline came in clutch in this finale with two completely new sentences that will forever change the way we see eyes and bread.
"Yours weren’t real." — Logan, allegedly, via Roman, episode 10
Ahh, good old dad. Even from beyond the grave — unless Roman pulled this horrific description of Kendall's children from nowhere just to hurt him — the patriarch finds new ways to pit his progeny against each other. Sophie and Iverson were adopted and conceived by sperm donor, respectively, and Roy Senior apparently once noted that this mean they weren't part of "the bloodline". Whether this was real or not, it's extremely gross — even for this show.
Succession is now streaming on HBO Max.
*This blurb has appeared on a previous Mashable list.
Topics HBO
