Why summer is hell for people who wear glasses

Ah, summer. It's the time of sunshine, barbecues, beach trips, and abbreviated Fridays. It's also the time when I, at least six times per day, want to pitch my stupid glasses into the beautiful, sparkling ocean.

Summer is absolute hell for the glasses wearer. We don't talk about this enough! Sure, it is a "mild annoyance" and "not that big of a deal," but the sooner we give voice to these issues, the sooner I can stop complaining about them at parties and ruining the vibe.

Fellow glasses people, are you with me?

Let's begin with sunglasses, which are a whole thing for us. Prescription sunglasses exist, yes, but they are expensive -- often as expensive as a regular pair of glasses. Even if you do manage to acquire a pair, you have to deal with the awkward dance between your prescription sunglasses and your regular glasses.

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At what point do you take your sunglasses off and put your regular glasses on? How long must you spend inside to justify the switch? Do you switch to your regular glasses if it gets cloudy, or do you just keep the sunglasses on in case it gets sunny again? When you're waiting in line at the ATM or whatever, do you look like an asshole with sunglasses on or do you root through your bag for your regular glasses, even though you're only going to be inside for five minutes? Do you have enough room in your bag for all those glasses? What if you don't have a bag? Do you dare wear Transitions? These are all questions we must contend with.

Then there's the issue of glasses at the beach. Glasses do not belong at the beach, because the beach is home to their top two enemies: moisture and oil. Good luck wearing your glasses anywhere near the ocean -- and if you do, you'd better have a steady supply of dry microfiber with which to dry them off. Want to wear oily sunscreen on your face? Amazing. Sun protection is important! But good luck keeping your glasses from sliding down your nose.

And you haven't even gone swimming yet.

There's also the dreaded glasses fog, which is a year-round problem, but especially egregious in the summer months. What glasses-wearer among us has not walked from an air-conditioned room into the humid world, then had to pause and clutch someone's arm for a moment because they can't see at all?

Even the day-to-day grind is a struggle. Where there's heat, there will be sweat. And glasses treat a sweaty nose like their own personal Slip 'N Slide.

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There is no justice in this sweaty world. Did you know some people get glasses tan lines? Oh my god.

I know what you're thinking. Why don't you just wear contacts? Well, good point. Contacts can solve several of these problems. They certainly can't be worn in water, though, unless you love the boundless pain of pool chlorine seeping into your sockets. Plus, a lot of people can't wear contacts all the time -- their eyes get dry, or they don't like having something sit directly atop their eyeballs for so long. Understandable!

So if you're out with a glasses-wearing friend this summer, please spare a thought for their struggle -- and if they fog up, please let them hold onto your arm for safety purposes. Also, it might be nice to carry a cleaning cloth around for them? Or maybe a tiny personal fan? I don't know, just a thought.

HAGS!