If you believe the Amazon reviews for this ridiculous $9,000 Swiss army knife, it can basically do everything

It can basically raise your kids for you.
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If you're looking to give someone a very one of a kind, expensive, dangerous, and unnecessary gift this holiday season, why not purchase the Wegner 16999 Swiss Army Giant?

This over the top knife metal thing is made up 87 implements and apparently has 141 functions — that is if you can even figure out an actual safe and adequate use for it.

The Swiss Army Giant consists of all sorts of knives, a compass, a nail clipper, a magnifying glass, a wire cutter, and more meshed altogether.

It's intense. Just take a look for yourself.

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Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable

With a product as unique and pricey as this one (it costs a roughly $8,999.99), you know the reviews will be filled with trolling.

We were not disappointed. These are what the Swiss Army Giant "costumers" had to say:

1. Cutting your nails can be dangerous.

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Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable

2. It's almost like a threatening person.

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Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable

3. The make believe toothbrush doesn't work, oops.

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Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable

4. The product is basically a new addition to the family.

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Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable

5. It knows too much.

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Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable

6. It finally explains Switzerland's history.

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Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable

7. It does not bring enough.

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Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable

8. It is not washing machine safe.

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Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable

9. Your children will grow up really fast.

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Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable

10. You will never have to board a plane again.

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Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable
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