Satanists want nothing to do with Ted Cruz, even if he is 'Lucifer in the flesh'

One big problem, according to the Satanic Temple, is that Ted Cruz lacks compassion.
 By 
Brittany Levine Beckman
 on 
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Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable

First former Speaker of the House John Boehner calls him "Lucifer in the flesh" then a representative for the Satanic Temple says presidential hopeful Ted Cruz lacks compassion. It's been a tough week for the Texas senator.

After Boehner criticized his fellow Republicans' prickly nature while speaking at Stanford University on Wednesday night, The Friendly Atheist blog reached out to the Satanic Temple for their thoughts on the matter. They want nothing to do with Cruz, said spokesman Lucien Greaves.

Boehner’s comment is illustrative of how well past time it is to adjust our mythologies to reflect our realities.

Cruz’s failures of reason, compassion, decency, and humanity are products of his Christian pandering, if not an actual Christian faith. It grows tedious when pedophile priests and loathsome politicians are conveniently dismissed as Satanic, even as they spew biblical verse and prostrate themselves before the cross, recruiting the Christian faithful. Satanists will have nothing to do with any of them.



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Ouch. The temple, which has multiple chapters, "facilitates the communication and mobilization of politically aware Satanists, secularists, and advocates for individual liberty," according to its website. 

Cruz, who is tirelessly trying to catch up to GOP front-runner Donald Trump, tried to sweep a five-state loss in the northeast primaries Tuesday under the rug by picking a running mate the next day. He declared former HP CEO Carly Fiorina as his pick for vice president (Fiorina dropped out of the presidential race months ago), a move many pundits have described as a last-ditch effort. It's especially odd to name a running mate before winning the nomination. But, Cruz said, he came to the decision after "a great deal of consideration and prayer." The Satanists are probably rolling their eyes at that one. 

Cruz and his Tea Party comrades were indeed a pain for Boehner, who struggled to whip his party together in Congress. At Stanford, Boehner went on to bash Cruz after the Lucifer comment.

“Lucifer in the flesh,” Boehner said when asked to describe Cruz, according to the Stanford Daily. “I have Democrat friends and Republican friends. I get along with almost everybody, but I have never worked with a more miserable son of a bitch in my life."

For his part, Cruz tried to come off as baffled when commenting on Boehner's critiques and attempted to paint the Ohio Republican as a Trump mouthpiece with Fiorina at his side at a news conference.

"I've met John Boehner two or three times in my life. If I have said 50 words in my life to John Boehner, I'd be surprised, and every one of them has consisted of pleasantries, 'Good to see ya Mr. Speaker.'"

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Brittany Levine Beckman

Brittany Levine Beckman was Mashable's managing editor. She enjoys crafting feature ideas, learning new things, and party parrots. Before working at Mashable, she covered community news at the Los Angeles Times and the Orange County Register. That's how she met a zonkey and the tallest man in the world.

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