10 things we want to see in 'Fast 9' (or whatever it ends up being called)
If one thing is clear about the fate of the Furious franchise, it's that there are going to be sequels.
No, Fast 9 (or whatever it ends up being called) doesn't have a release date yet. But with The Fate of the Furious shaping up to be another runaway hit for Dom Toretto and his family, it's all but guaranteed that they'll be reuniting for another backyard barbecue in another couple of years.
Which means that right about now is when the powers that be will be making their plans for the films to come. So although we know that these fan wish lists are just a more labor-extensive way of screaming into the void, we're still gonna put our hopes for the next film out there. Just in case, you know, the Secret is real or something.
Without further ado, then, here are 10 things we'd like to see in Fast 9. Or any of the other upcoming sequels and spinoffs. We're not picky.
Warning: Spoilers follow for The Fate of the Furious.
1. The family going to outer space
As the Fast and Furious movies get crazier and crazier, it seems all but inevitable that the family will head into outer space. But when?
Writer Chris Morgan (who's been a mainstay of the franchise since Tokyo Drift) doesn't seem to be in any hurry to get there, saying only, "The only way I’d go to space is if I had something so good.” But it does seem like a matter of when, not if. After all, how else are you going to top cars skydiving, cars bursting out of skyscrapers, and cars flying over submarines to outrace heat-seeking missiles?
2. Han Seoul-oh's triumphant return
Similarly, we can only assume that Han Seoul-oh (Sung Kang) will return in some form or other after his tragic death in Tokyo Drift / Furious 6*, because, I mean ... he has to, right? Surely Fast wouldn't be so cruel as to leave one of its most lovable characters permanently deceased ... right? Especially when there's plenty of precedent for characters coming back from apparent death in this series?
Morgan hasn't ruled it out, so I'm just going to declare here and now that I don't even care how it happens. Say Han faked his own death. Say he has an identical twin brother with an identical personality. Say time travel exists now and Han has been un-killed. Or, hell, don't say anything at all – just bring him back without explanation. I promise not to whine about how it'll screw up the continuity.
And while we're at it, let's bring back Gisele, too. We know Gal Gadot's very busy being Wonder Woman these days, but surely this gazillion-dollar franchise can cobble together enough change to lure her back for an action sequence or two.
(* For those not well versed in Fast chronology, Tokyo Drift actually takes place after Fast and Furious and Fast Five, and the end credits of Fast and Furious 6 overlap with the events of Tokyo Drift.)
3. Helen Mirren behind the wheel
The Fate of the Furious offers a fascinating glimpse into the Shaw family dynamics, with Helen Mirren showing up Magdalene, the no-nonsense mother of Deckard (Jason Statham) and Owen (Luke Evans). The only problem? She doesn't get nearly enough to do.
Mirren's only in a few scenes, and they're mostly of the "sitting and talking" sort. And she seems as disappointed about it as we are. "I wanted to be driving, but unfortunately, I’m not," she said last year. "Maybe that will come in the future, in Fast and Furious 12."
Or, you know, in Fast 9, if anyone's listening to our silly demands.
4. A Deckard Shaw spinoff (and more Shaw family shenanigans)
Or ... how about in a Deckard Shaw solo film?
Jason Statham is easily the best thing about Fate of the Furious, whether he's shouting insults at the Rock while beating up a bunch of prison guards or cooing reassurances at a baby while beating up a bunch of henchmen. But he's still just part of an ensemble. Maybe it's time let him take center stage.
Fate sets up the outline of a backstory for Deckard Shaw, and features several supporting characters who could come with him, including his mom and his baby brother. Then there's Johnson's Hobbs, whose chemistry with Statham was so good that producers were reportedly considering a spinoff before Vin Diesel's ego got in the way.
Any way you slice it, it seems like high time Statham got more to do in this series.
5. Brian Toretto's unconventional upbringing
A lot of The Fate of the Furious revolves around Dominic Toretto's secret lovechild with Elena (Elsa Pataky). He's the whole reason Dom betrays his family, joins forces with a megalomaniacal cyberterrorist, and secretly teams up with the guy who murdered Han. And the kid is explicitly made into a tribute to the late Paul Walker, as he's christened Brian in the very last scene. Aww.
It behooves this series, then, to actually remember that this kid exists and not just write him in Fast 9. Brian and Mia supposedly left this life of crime because they wanted to start a family, but what would happen if Dom actually tried to raise his kid within this weird patchwork family of musclebound Robin Hoods? We don't know. We'd like to find out.
6. Crossover craziness
Sure, you could ask why the Fast universe would want to cross over with another property – but since this franchise's entire guiding principle seems to be "why not?" we're going to go that route instead. Why not bring the gang to Isla Nublar? Why not sic John Wick on this family? Why not reveal that Dom Toretto has a twin brother named Xander Cage, or have him encounter Richard B. Riddick out in space?
Mind you, we're not guaranteeing that any of these ideas would make for an actually good movie. We're just saying we'd totally turn up to see the results.
7. An actual LGBTQ character
The Fast films have rightfully been praised for their casual diversity, but it's time to up the ante even more. Let's see the franchise's first confirmed queer character.
There are a few different routes the series could take here. They could take one of their many bromances and turn them into full-on romances. (I can't be the only one shipping Luke Hobbs and Deckard Shaw.) They could write a new love interest for an existing character. Or they could just invent a brand-new lead from scratch – it wouldn't be a Fast movie without the family welcoming someone new into the fold.
Whatever road they pick, the Fast series will be clear of some of the speed bumps that trip up other franchises on this front. There's no source material canon that these films have to adhere to. And since these aren't really marketed as kids' movies to begin with, the usual (bullshit) arguments about LGBTQ content being too "mature" for children shouldn't have much sway here.
8. Dom Toretto vs. Luke Hobbs
The best subplot of The Fate of the Furious was one that took place entirely offscreen. Vin Diesel and Dwayne Johnson's supposed beef has been the object of fascination and speculation since the moment Johnson called out a certain "candy ass" on Facebook. Maybe it's genuine. Maybe it's fake. Either way, it's definitely riveting – and therefore, definitely good for publicity.
And the story's still unfolding. The lack of shared screen time between Diesel and Johnson in Fate raised some eyebrows, as did reports that Diesel was "enraged" about the possibility of a post-credit scene for Johnson and Statham. Let's let that drama spill over onto the screen. If the rivalry spins out of control, even better – Ryan Murphy can swoop in in a few years and make a season of Feud about it.
9. More bald badasses
Is there a finer collection of beefy bald badasses anywhere on Earth than in a Fast and Furious movie? We've got Vin Diesel, Dwayne Johnson, Jason Statham, Tyrese Gibson, and Djimon Hounsou ... but why stop there? Let's get Mark Strong in here. Let's rescue Common from the Suicide Squad movies and invite him along. Let's see if Samuel L. Jackson will show up to do his very best Nick Fury impression.
10. Han Seoul-oh's triumphant return
Yes, we know we already said this one. It's in here twice because it's that important.
